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Nedelja, 5. XI 2006.

Logo Leteći bumbar 139

U ovom broju donosimo:

2. Tvoj poljubac je kao grom!

            Nevreme prekinulo romansu

3. Britanski komentatori       Engleski jezik

            Biseri sportskih komentatora

4. Olovka piše srcem

            Dečji odgovori iz istoimene knjige

5. The lovers of the heart      Engleski jezik

            Vodič za poljupce + saveti i zanimljivosti.

7. Radoslav Čvorkov

            Zbirka lapsusa, bisera, odvala i uzrečica izrečenih na časovima matematike, informatike i na ekskurziji (1252-1283)

Prasetina

TVOJ POLjUBAC JE KAO GROM!

Slovo Bojan Z. (33) i Mirjana M. (36) iz Beograda  povređeni su kada ih je udario grom dok su  vodili ljubav na makiškoj strani Ade Ciganlije! Ljubavnici su stradali ispod žalosne vrbe u nedelju uveče kada je veliko nevreme zahvatilo Beograd. Kako "Press" saznaje, ekipa Hitne pomoći odvezla ih je sa opekotinama potpuno gole u Urgentni centar, odakle su prebačeni u Centar za opekotine u Zvečanskoj ulici!

            Posle ukazane pomoći, Bojan je pušten kući, dok je Mirjana zadržana na lečenju. Dežurni lekar potvrdio je da je Mirjana smeštena na Odeljenje intenzivne nege, ali da joj život nije ugrožen.

- Pacijentkinja je svesna, može da jede i komunicira sa osobljem. Povrede koje je zadobila su teške, ali očekujemo da će se brzo oporaviti. Posete zasad nisu dozvoljene, ali za nekoliko dana rodbina i prijatelji moći će slobodno da je obilaze - potvrdio je dežurni lekar bolnice u Zvečanskoj ulici.

            Kako saznajemo od izvora bliskih istrazi, neposredno posle prijema povređenih ljubavnika u bolnici se dogodio skandal!
- Mlađi gospodin je došao u bolnicu i raspitivao se za zdravstveno stanje povređene Mirjane M. Osoblje bolnice mu je saopštilo na kom je odeljenju i potom ga zamolilo da preuzme njenu garderobu. Međutim, među ženskim stvarima koje je preuzeo bili su i muški odevni predmeti. Kada su mu objasnili da stvari pripadaju njenom mužu, on je zaprepašćeno rekao: "Pa, ja sam njen muž!" Tada su morali da mu saopšte da je Mirjana povređena u trenutku dok je u prirodi vodila ljubav sa kolegom sa posla - navodi naš sagovornik. Prema tvrdnjama dobro obaveštenog izvora, muškarac je zadobio lakše povrede jer je bio u ulozi "provodnika".
- Žena je obnažena ležala na travi, dok je muškarac u trenutku udara groma bio na kolenima. Ispostavilo se
Parking majstor

da je elektricitet samo prošao kroz njegovo telo, a potom udario u njegovu nagu koleginicu. Muškarac je imao više sreće i zadobio je samo lake povrede, dok je njegova partnerka izvukla deblji kraj - navodi naš sagovornik.

BRITANSKI KOMENTATORI

Strašna kletva

We were a little bit outnumbered there, it was two against two.

 I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.

 I'm not a believer in luck but I do believe you need it.

 What will you do when you leave football, Jack... will you stay in football?

 "Celtic" were at one time nine points ahead, but somewhere along the road, their ship went off the rails.

 I would not say he [David Ginola] is the best left-winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.

 We threw our dice into the ring and turned up trumps.

 An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal.

 What's it like being in Bethlehem, the place where Christmas began? I suppose it's like seeing Ian Wright at Arsenal...

 I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs ...

 The lad got over-excited when he saw the whites of the goal posts eyes.

 If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen.

 It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday.

 And I suppose they [Spurs] are nearer to being out of the FA Cup now than any other time since the first half of this season, when they weren't ever in it anyway.

 He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him.

 Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different.

 And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds.

 I'm going to make a prediction - it could go either way.

 And with 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0.

 Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.

 What I said to them at half-time would be unprintable on the radio.

 He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head.

 I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.

 Glenn Hoddle hasn't been the Hoddle we know. Neither has Bryan Robson.

 There's no way Ryan Giggs is another George Best. He's another Ryan Giggs.

 I don't think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona.

 Bolton are on the crest of a slump.

 He had an eternity to play that ball, but he took too long over it.

 "Celtic" manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve.

 Here's 3 new players… That means 3 fresh legs

  A team should never practice on a field that is not lined. Your players have to become aware of the field's boundaries.

 The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.

 Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field.

 Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon.

OLOVKA PIŠE SRCEM

             SMANjITI

● Kada neko viče pa mu kažu: "Smanji"

● Što se smanji dete kad se rodi

● Smanjiti je kolač kad smanjiš

● Smanje se oči kad oćeš da spavaš

● Smanji šofer brzinu na miliciju

● Smanjiš leti pantalone pa ideš u gaćama

● Smanje se sve haljine, a pre ti nisu bile male

            SREDINA

● Kad je na polici gore lukac, dole krompir, a u sredini slatko od šljiva

 Seaman came out there and the attacker didn't like it, you could see it on his face

Barnet's next home game will be away to Lincoln

 "Chelsea" wearing white is like a red rag to a bull.

 Stoichkov is pointing at the bench with his eyes.

 I don't blame individuals - I blame myself.

 

Gordon Stachan quotes and stories [prim. red.: R – Reporter; S – Strachan]

R: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?

S: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

● ● ●

R: Is that your best start to a season?

S: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.

● ● ●

R: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?

S: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

● ● ●

R: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?

S: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

● ● ●

S: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

● ● ●

R: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?

S: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

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R: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?

S: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

Kako sipati oblak u flašu

● ● ●

R: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?

S: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

● ● ●

R: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?

S: Not telling you! It's a secret.

● ● ●

R: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?

S: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

● ● ●

R: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?

S: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there...

● ● ●

R: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?

S: I dont care, I'm Scottish

● ● ●

R: Gordon, can we have a quick word please?

S: Velocity [walks off]

            I za kraj - kriket:

"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"

            When Michael Holding of the "West Indies" was bowling to Peter Willey of England in the Test match at the "Oval" in 1976. Johnston claimed not to have noticed saying anything odd during the match, and only being alerted to his mistake by a letter from "a lady".

THE LOVERS OF THE HEART

In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.
 

Article 1: Statement of Love: The Kiss

 

1. Kiss on the hand - I adore you
2. Kiss on the cheek - I just want to be friends
3. Kiss on the neck - I want you
4. Kiss on the lips - I love you
5. Kiss on the ears - I am just playing
6. Kiss anywhere else - Lets not get carried away
7. Look in your eyes - Kiss me
8. Playing with your hair - I can't live without you

9. Hand on your waist - I love you to much to let you go


Article 2: The Three Steps

1. Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.
2. Guys:
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.
3. Guys & Girls:
Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.

Article 3: The Commandments

1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.
2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.
3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.

* Remember *
A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum.
A kiss isn't a kiss without some tongue.
So open up your mouth, close your eyes,
and give your tongue some exercise!!!

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:
1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
Kupidon

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while
8. Because they are always warm even when its -30° outside
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. The way her hand always finds yours
13. The way they smile
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later….

Natpis na majci
16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"
18. Actually… just the way they kiss you…
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!
23. The way they say "I miss you"
24. The way you miss them
25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore…

            Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them… It matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons. No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

RČ

 

1252. Jel' pio? (jel' bio)

1253. Naotkriješ

1254. Ovo se onda zove jedno i drugo zove se sistem

1255. Rešenja su suprotnog znakova

1256. Sve mi glerastaviš na činioce

1257. Da li se rešenja kubne jednačine mogu da izraže?

1258. Poklopiš obrazac rukom i prepišeš ga

1259. Radimo zadatke polako najbrže što je moguće

1260. Štari štoš

1261. Vi možete da se zbunete

1262. Pišeš to na tablu što sam ja šarao

1263. Sve na zagradi

1264. Kažeš šta se radiš u školi

1265. Bogo      (???)

1266.   A. Pluz

            B. Vinus

            C. Minuš

            D. Zminus

            E. Pljus

            F. Splus

1267. Božić, gledaj moja sad ovde

1268. Ona ne sme, znači sme

1269. To ume svako da zna

1270. Izvadite hemičarku!

1271. Natpiši

1272. Vrkoristim

1273. Obražac

Eskimsko pecanje

1274. Operiš ruke

1275. To neje ništa naročito

1276. Uka'kulišeš

1277. Imaš Dikolajević digiton (???)

1278. Ona je brekla videla čim je čula

1279. Kod tebe je starija od Duška ima ćiriličnu

1280. Ovde je mu je sreća

1281. To isto piše u udžbeniku za sedmi razred, samo što je lepše uokvireno

1282. Označavam ga znakom znakom

1283. Rastaviš x ispred zagrade

Šta znači kad vas vaša mačka probudi

Friz 

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