Nedelja, 27. V 2007.
U ovom broju donosimo:
Ferengijevska pravila sticanja (trgovine)
4. Borg kocka
Deset stvari koje možeš napraviti dok si u Borg Kocki
Dopunjeno izdanjeNajlošija imena za bendove (kraj feljtona)
Rule 001: Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Rule 002: The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
Rule 003: Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
Rule 004: A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
Rule 006: Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Rule 007: Keep your ears open.
Rule 008: Small print leads to large risk.
Rule 010: Greed is eternal.
Rule 011: Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper.
Rule 012: Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
Rule 013: Anything worth doing is worth doing twice.
Rule 014: Keep your family close, keep your Latinum closer.
Rule 016: A deal is a deal. (until a better one comes along).
Rule 017: A contract is a contract is a contract - but only between Ferengi.
Rule 018: A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Rule 019: Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Rule 020: Only give money to people you know you can steal from.
Rule 021: Never place friendship before profit.
Rule 022: A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Rule 024: Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.Rule 025: There's always a way out.
Rule 026: As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
Rule 027: There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Rule 028: Whisper your way to success.Rule 029: What's in it for me?
Rule 031: Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. (insult something he cares about, instead).
Rule 033: It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Rule 034: War is good for business.
Rule 035: Peace is good for business.
Rule 037: If it's free, take it and worry about hidden costs later.
Rule 039: Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.
Rule 040: She can touch your lobes, but never your Latinum.
Rule 041: Profit is its own reward.
Rule 042: What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.
Rule 044: Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Rule 045: Ambition knows no family.
Rule 046: Make your shop easy to find.
Rule 047: Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
Rule 048: The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Rule 049: Everything is worth something to somebody.
Rule 050: Gratitude can bring on generosity.
Rule 051: Reward anyone who adds to your profits so they will continue to do so.
Rule 052: Never ask when you can take.
Rule 057: Good customers are as rare as Latinum, Treasure them.
Rule 058: There is no substitute for success.
Rule 059: Free advice is seldom cheap.Rule 060: Keep your lies consistent.
Rule 062: The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Rule 065: Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
Rule 068: Ear stroking will get you anything.
Rule 069: Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
Rule 072: Never trust your customers.
Rule 073: If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
Rule 075: Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum.
Rule 076: Every once in a while, declare peace. "It confuses the hell out of your enemies".
Rule 077: It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.
Rule 078: When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules.
Rule 079: Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.Rule 082: The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Rule 084: A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.
Rule 085: Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
Rule 087: A friend in need means three times the profit.
Rule 089: Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits.
Rule 092: There are many paths to profit.
Rule 093: Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.
Rule 094: Females and finances don't mix.
Rule 095: Expand or die.
Rule 096: For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule, (except when there's not).
Rule 097: Enough... is never enough.
Rule 098: Every man has his price.
Rule 099: Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Rule 100: If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.
Rule 101: The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
Rule 102: Nature decays, but Latinum lasts forever.
Rule 103: Sleep can interfere with...
Rule 104: Faith moves mountains... (of inventory).
Rule 105: Don't trust anyone who trusts you.
Rule 106: There is no honor in poverty.
Rule 107: A warranty is valid only if they can find you.
Rule 109: Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
Rule 111: Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them [ruthlessly].
Rule 112: Never have sex with the boss's sister.
Rule 113: Always have sex with the boss.
Rule 115: The best contract always has a lot of fine print.
Rule 116: There's always a catch.
Rule 117: Everything is for sale, including friendship.
Rule 119: Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet, (...sometimes, good things come in small packages).
Rule 121: Everything is for sale, including friendship.
Rule 123: Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum.
Rule 125: You can't make a deal if you're dead.
Rule 126: Count it.
Rule 127: Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides.
Rule 135: Never trust a beneficiary.
Rule 139: Wives serve, brothers inherit.
Rule 141: Only fools pay retail.Rule 142: There's no such thing as an unfair advantage.
Rule 144: There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Rule 146: Necessity, n. The mother of invention. Profit is the father.
Rule 152: A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know.
Rule 153: Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
Rule 162: Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
Rule 169: Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.
Rule 171: Blood is thicker than water, and Latinum is thicker than both.
Rule 172: Chances aren't what they used to be.
Rule 177: Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
Rule 181: Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Rule 188: A fool and his money is the best customer.
Rule 189: Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
Rule 190: Hear all, trust nothing.Rule 191: A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
Rule 192: Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
Rule 194: It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
Rule 200: If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.Rule 202: The justification of profit is profit.
Rule 203: New customers are like razor-backed Gree worms... They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back!
Rule 204: It takes a Ferengi to cheat a Ferengi.
Rule 208: Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
Rule 211: Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success... don't hesitate to step on them.
Rule 214: Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
Rule 216: Never gamble with an empath.
Rule 217: You can't free a fish from water.
Rule 218: Always know what you're buying
Rule 219: Possession is 11/10 of the law.
Rule 223: Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
Rule 229: Latinum lasts longer than lust.
Rule 231: There's a sucker born every minute; be sure you're the first to find each one.
Rule 236: You can't buy fate.
Rule 239: Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
Rule 241: Never trust a hardworking employee.
Rule 242: More is good... all is better.
Rule 253: Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse.
Rule 255: A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.
Rule 256: Accountants do not play the game; they only keep the score.
Rule 260: Life's not fair. How else would you turn a profit?
Rule 261: A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Rule 262 : A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Rule 263: Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Latinum.
Rule 265: The customer is always right, (...until you get their cash).
Rule 266: When in doubt, lie.
Rule 267: If you believe it, they believe it.
Rule 270: In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.
Rule 277: Anything worth fighting for is worth hiding from.
Rule 284: Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
Rule 285: No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Rule 286: When Morn leaves, it's all over. (Quark made this rule up)
Rule 299: Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time. (Neelix made this rule up)
Unwritten Rule: When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up!
3D - 3 domaće
AGP - Ajde gruni pivo
AGP - Alkohol gospoda piju
ARP - Ajmo radije piti
ASP - Ajmo svi pit'
CABLE - Cevčim absint bijući ludu Esmeraldu (stanje zvano "koma")CGI - Cirkaj game ipak
CNC - Cijele noći cugam
COM1 – Curo, odmah meni jednu
COM2 – Curo, odmah meni dvijeCPU - Cirkaj pivo uvijek
CSS - Cugaj samo Smirnoff
DDR - Donesi domaću rakiju
DHCP - Dva hladna crna piva
DIMM - Daj i meni martini
DNS - Daj nam sol-a
DOS - Daj opet smirnoff
DSL - Daj svima lozu; Duplu sauzu lemam
DVD - Daj vodu drugima
FTP - Fermentacija točenog piva
GIS - Gorki i Stella
GPRS - Gulimo prvo rakiju subotom
GPS - Gorki pelinkovac svima
HDD - Hajde domaću donesi
HTML - Hladan "Tuborg" mamurluk liječi
HTTP - Hoću tamno točeno pivo
ICQ - Isključivo rakiju qpujem
IMAP – Imaš, mala, "Amstel" pivo?
IRC - Ipak rakiju curama
ISA - Idu stari alkosi
ISDN – Idi, sestro, donesi "Nikšičko"; Isto, samo duplo natoči
JPG - Jedno pivo gospođici; Jetra puna gromovače
JS - Jagermajster sipaj
LCD - Lako cugam domaću
LOL – Laško, olvejz Laško
LPT - Ležerno pijem travaricu
MDA – Mnogo dobar ajvar
MIRC - Ma ipak rakiju curama
MySQL – Metaxu… Jednu stavi kocku leda.NET - Neka etanol teče
ODBC - Odnesi dva "Ballantinesa" curama
P2P - Pošalji 2 piva
PAP - Prekaljeni alkoholičari piju
PDF - Pijemo do fajrunta
PERL - Ponesi evo rakije litruPHP - Pošalji hladno pivo
PING - Pivna industrija nikad gora
POP - Popij odmah pivo
PPD - Pelinkovac prvo donesi
PPP - Pijem pivo popodne
SCSI - Svi cugamo, sipaj isto
SLIP - Sad litru i pelinkovac
T3 - Tuborga tri
TCP/IP - Tri crna piva / i pelinkovac
TELNET - Točena efikasno litra noću eliminiše tegobe
TTF - Toči tu "Finlandiju"
URL - Unicum radi lepo
UPS - Udri po šljivovici
USB - Uspi Strejt Burbon
UTF8 - Uspi točenih Fostersa 8
UTP - Uveliko tekilu pijem
VGA - Veliki gutljaj amara
VoIP - Vinjak odmah ispij pijanduro
WAP – Veoma, veoma alkoholno piće
WINS - Wotke ima, natoči svima
WIN XP - Wotku isključivo na eks pijem
WWW - Votka vodi vandalizmu
ZIP - Ženama ipak pivo
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Bad Band Name #570: We Like Gerbil Food
Bad Band Name #572: Weeping Tile
Bad Band Name #573: Wet Mounts
Bad Band Name #575: Yeast-O-Rama
Bad Band Name #576: Yeah Love Swans
Bad Band Name #577: Ye Ha Wanna Have A Baba
Bad Band Name #579: Eek a Mouse
Bad Band Name #580: Sperm Diablo
Bad Band Name #581: Painful White Discharge
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Bad Band Name #583: Toxic Popsicle
Bad Band Name #584: Fluid Grind
Bad Band Name #585: The Hershey Squirts
Bad Band Name #586: Hootie and the Blowfish
Band Name #587:
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Bad Band Name #588: Goats Don't Shave
Bad Band Name #589: Col. Bruce Hampton and the Aquarium Rescue Unit
Bad Band Name #590: Sex 66
Bad Band Name #591: The G-spots
Bad Band Name #592: Suckbox
Bad Band Name #593: The Smegmates
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Bad Band Name #597: Dead Milkmen
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