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Nedelja, 26. VI 2011.

Logo Leteći bumbar #381 

U ovom broju donosimo:

2. Fejs-bruk!               Engleski jezik

            Smejurije sa Fejsbuka

4. Anegdote

            Doskočice poznatih ličnosti

6. Vrste prdeža

            Kako, po načinu prdenja odrediti osobine vlasnika

7. Locirajte se!           Engleski jezik

            Vi mora da ste izako je većina ovih tvrdnji tačna (severna Nevada; 3376-3417)

Sačuvajte ovaj broj! Možete od njega da napravite:

- molersku kapu

- brodić

- avion koji leti…

Urednicima ostalih časopisa: Budite fer i ostavite link za ovaj časopis kad već uzimate materijal odavde!

Puževa pošta

FEJS-BRUK!

Status: You know it's spring when the leafs are out.

[2]: Leaves

[1]: No, no, [2]. Toronto Maple Leafs! :-))

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Status: What's in front of you that you never see?

[2]: It's the future. Isn't it?

[3]: A ninja.

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Status: On nights like this, alone and cold, I silently gaze to a spot in the sky, hidden behind the clouds lies a star of stars... I close my eyes and feel a warm breeze, an echo of what use to be... I miss you now more than ever...

[2]: I miss you too...

[1]: Not about you.

[2]: Oh...
Maca i kolonija buva

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Status: Happy national "Take your kid to work" day! That is why I'm not at school. :-P

[2]: So, where are you? (njegov otac)

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Lauren

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Status: Does "I caught myself singing a Justin Bieber song" go at the beginning or the end of a suicide note?

[2]: end

[3]: Start it out that way, everyone will understand right from jump

[4]: That is the note. No further explanation is necessary

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Osama Bin Laden: BRB. Someone's at the door.

US Navy Seals like this
Šolja kolač

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Status: tanning tanning tanning tanning tanning tanning

[2]: Cancercancercancercancer

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Chat: daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi daj mi

[2]: dobro daću ti nemoj da si dosadan

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Status: "Da sam krala, krala sam..." – kad je to nama Ceca govorila, a niko je nije kapirao ^_^

Miljan: Žena diže kredite, prodaje kuće, stavlja ih na apoteku... Na šta je spala i to ako se dogovori sa njima oko kućog pritvora...
[1]: Miljane, ovaj... kuće stavlja na apoteku?

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Status: I have several hours left at the "West Ed" mall. What should I do... I'm at the apple store now.

[2]: Alright, first, go to the abercrombie store on the 1st floor. To the right of the entrance when you walk in, you will see mens blazers. Grab the third one in on the hangers. It should be blue, stripy and moderatly expensive. Buy this coat. Leave the store and make a right hand turn. Enter the footlocker directly beside you. Go to the shoe stand display with the "Nikes" on them. You will see a pair of "Nike Jordans", black and white in color. Buy these in size 10 (43 prema evropskom standardu). Do not put these shoes on. Just buy them, tip the salesman and leave. Now, leave footlocker, across and to the right of you is le chateau. Enter the store, grab a shirt off the shelf, approach the saleswoman named Ashley and ask to use a change room. When you get to the change rooms at the back of the store, she will coo like a pigeon, you are to moo. This is the signal. She will leave you in the change room and return with 3 different pair of socks. Accept them, close and lock the door. Now, reach into your blazer. On your left side inside pocket is a key. In the right "Jordan" shoe you purchased, there is a small square box. Use the key, open the box.

            You now are equipt with a small can of bear mase, a digital recorder, and a "Hershies kiss" chocolate. Put the bear mase in you inside pocker (where key was) and the digital recorder in the outside pocker, above the mase. The chocolate is for you. Enjoy it, it may be your last meal for a while.

            Now, in the pair of black socks she has given you, there will be a bus ticket. Do not lose this ticket. Toss those socks in the trash in front of you once you've extracted the ticket. The brown pair of socks you are to purchase upon exiting the change room. The final pair of socks and the shirt you entered with you are to steal. Make sure you put the nikes on. You will be need to be agile very soon.

            Exit le chateau, make a left. Walk down past the water park. There will be a store on 

ANEGDOTE

            Lord Ponsboni, engleski diplomata iz XIX veka, bio je poznat po svojoj hladnokrvnosti, taktu i dobrom snalaženju u teškim situacijama. Jednom se turskom sultanu, na čijem je dvoru Ponsboni bio engleski ambasador, učinilo da mu članovi diplomatskog kora ne ukazuju dovoljno duboko poštovanje. Zbog toga je naredio da se umesto običnih vrata postave toliko niska, da su strani diplomati morali da ulaze kroz njih gotovo puzeći. Kada je Lord Ponsobni dolazeći sultanu na razgovor, prvi put morao da prođe kroz ta vrata, zastao je na trenutak, a onda se spustio na kolena i laktove i krenuo natraške tako da je sultan najpre ugledao beli svileni saten njegovih pantalona.

your left called "Bolero leather". Enter. There will be middle aged Mexican male named Olanzo at the desk. Short, stocky, with a thin moustache and even thinner head of hair.

            Go to the desk, in a lowered tone say: "Hello Olanzo. My name is [1]. Do you have the goods?" followed with a wink and a nod.

            He will then give you a small leather bag with a belt loop and two packages wrapped in foil. Take it. Leave. Across from you is the L-1 lounge. Sit down next to the fern. Put the bear mase into your new pouch and fasten it to your belt, and put the foil packages in your right hand pocket. Now wait for exactly 5 minutes.

            Now, turn on the recorder and exit the mall. There will be a 1995 "Dodge caravan". Get in. Your drivers name is Ken.

            He will take you to the bus station. I will be waiting there with further instructions. Good luck to you.
Drvo protiv klavira

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Status: There's a little beatle inside my PC monitor. I can see him crawling about, but I can't touch him. It's tripping me out.

[2]: A little beatle? Which one? Ringo? (greška osobe [1]: ne piše se "bEAtle" nego "bEEtle")

[3]: Debug it.

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Status: The kids next door have challenged me to a water fight... I'm just updating my status while I wait for the kettle to boil

Svetlosni mač

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[2]: Sorry ako misliš na mn pogroješio si

[3]: Ovo je u Brezovicu kod Fica

[4]: Neboj se, [2], nije na tebe mislio.

[5]: Što je sa [2]? Niko te nije spomenuo?

[2]: Epa još bolje!

[4]: U Brezovicu nego đe!

[6]: "E pa" odvojeno se piše, [2]. ;-)

[2]: Ne interesuje me kako se piše!

[6]: Pa jer si seljanka nepismena. Što ti uopšte spamuješ Milošu sliku?

[2]: Xax'... Nisam seljanka nepismena nego ti. ;-) I ne piše se "spamuješ" nego "spominješ" XD

[7]: Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[8]: E, [2], sad bi ti dao jedan crveni karton, ali neće da mi izbaci link...

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Status: Dear McDonald's – please server breakfast after 10. That is all.

[2]: Dear [1], please get your ass out of bed before 10. Sincerely, McDonald's.

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Status: If you don't like something... change it!

[2]: How do I change you?

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[1]: I wasn't that drunk

[2]: Dude, you were asking my cat why he killed Mufasa!

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Status: Whoever decided 4 AM was a good time to use a chainsaw, is an asshole.

[2]: Awe... I am sorry they woke you up! You poor baby... lol

[3]: Uh... whoever decided 4 AM was a good time to use a chainsaw, is probably a mass murderer.

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About: My name is Justin Bieber and it has been for 50 years. I am not some punk ass singer homosexual but because some little ass bandit hit the same name as me I have to use my middle name.

God dammit, I'm a human and I have rights too. Little girls, please stop adding me. I am not that little punk ass bitch and stop trying cause he likes dick.

I am Justin Bieber, 50 year old carpenter from Ohio. I currently live in Maine. I like prostitutes, booze and cigarettes. F*ck you.

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Status: What part of "I'm on holiday with my girlfriend for a week" was misunderstood by some people?

[2]: "girlfriend"

VRSTE PRDEŽA

UČTIV: Prdne i kaže "pardon".
CINIK: Prdne i gleda pravo u oči.

KAVALIR: Pušta damu da prdne prva.

POBOŽAN: Prdne i kaže: "Božja volja".

BEZOBRAZAN: Prdne iz vlastitog zadovoljstva.

OSJEĆAJAN: Prdne i kaže "Ah!".

VESELjAK: Prdne i kaže: "Ko prdi zlo ne misli".

IDEALIST: Prdne iz uvjerenja, a ne iz guzice.

SENTIMETALAN: Prdne i misli kako bi bilo da nije prdnuo.

ŠEPRTLjA: Prducka cijeli dan i nikako da prdne.

NAIVČINA: Prdne i misli kako je učinio veliko djelo.

NESTRPLjIV: Jedva čeka da prdne.

DOBRO ODGOJEN: Prije nego prdne moli za dozvolu.

GOROPADAN: Prdne da se svi prozori tresu.

REALIST: Smatra prdac za prirodnu stvar.

EGOIST: Prdne samo za sebe.
SRAMEŽLjIVAC: Prdne i pocrveni, te objesi glavu.
GURMAN: Prdne preko govana da bolje smrdi.
Prodavnica cipela

MUZIKALAN: Prdne i ustanovi o kojem se molu ili duru radi.

PODMUKAO: Ufulji se da nitko ne osjeti.

DVOLIČAN: Ufulji se i pita tko je prdnuo.

DISKRETAN: Prdne i kaže: "Neka to ostane među nama"

NEOPREZAN: Prdne i usere se u gaće.

FLEGMATIČAN: Svejedno mu je da li prdne ili ne.

KOLEGIJALAN: Daje priliku i drugima da prde.

ŠKRTAC: Prdi samo u zatvorenoj sobi.

PESIMIST: Još nije ni prdnuo, a već misli da se usro.

PENZIONER: Kaže da se za vrijeme Austrougarske bolje prdilo.

LOCIRAJTE SE

Čak Noris zove Mitra Mirića

¤        Vi mora da ste iz Nevade ako… (USA, poglavlje LXII)

3376. You know that all Nevadans don't drink, smoke and gamble… too much…
3377. In the winter, people vacation to here. While you vacation away from here.
3378. You know that in July, you can get a sunburn through your car window.
3379. At some point in your life, you've gone to a Rodeo.
3380. You can correctly pronounce the state's name.
3381. You've had sagebrush get stuck in your grill.
3382. The baseball team you root for is 4˝ hours away.
3383. The biggest thing for teenagers to do on a weekend is go to a coffee shop.

3384. There is no night life, besides a few bush parties here and there.

3385. You know sagebrush is the state flower, because after all it is the only thing around.
3386. You know what wind is, and when you are out of town and people say: "Oh, its soo windy" you think to yourself: "This is just a breeze"
3387. You notice that the area is turning into LA with all of the new developments, such as a freeway.
3388. You are used to hearing that the fire danger is always "Extreme" in the summer.
3389. You figure that the average age is probably somewhere close to 65.
3390. You feel like you live on the Moon, either scorching hot or freezing cold.
3391. You don't know what humidity is.
3392. Although you dont know anyone that has gone, you do know where all of the whore houses are
3393. You know that highway 50 really is the lonliest road in the nation.
3394. You don't get cell service most of the time.
3395. You got a job more so because it gave you something to do, than for the money
3396. You have neighbors that consider fast food fine dining

3397. You usually always have a jacket in your car, because you know that you would be screwed if your car broke down in the winter without it.
3398. You live super close to one of the most famous lakes in the world, and you dont even notice why its so famous or care
3399. You bitch about people coming in from California, even though you probably did that yourself

3400. You bitch about how people from California drive
3401. You know that everything in Reno closes at 9. (Except for the Starbucks and the Casinos)
3402. You just recently learned that there's a thing called the "democratic party".
3403. You know where the Sushi district is in Reno.
3404. You laugh at people who move here and try putting up fences because you know it won't last a year.
3405. You've woken up with more than ten deer in front of your house.
3406. It feels like there's something missing if a grocery store or gas stationed doesn't have slot machies.
3407. You've chased tumble weed down the street before.

3408. You know what a dust devil looks like.
3409. You know what wind really is.
3410. The Rib Cookoff and the Hot air balloon races are the social highlights of the year.
Cunami

3411. Your work uses a tumbleweed as it's Christmas Tree
3412. You can cost with the wind at a steady 85mi/h.
3413. CB's are used over cell phones
3414. You see red lights flashing and its not a cop
3415. You look at your dirt yard and it matches everyone else's on the block

3416. It's 90°F (32°C) out when you go into a store and when you come out it's snowing
3417. Californian's try to turn your state into California

Blic strip; Autor: Marko Somborac

Friz

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