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Nedelja, 21. IV 7532.

U ovom broju donosimo: 2. Fejs-bruk! Smejurije sa Fejsbuka 4. I oni su bili klinci Novi kviz: Pogodite čija je ovo slika iz mladosti? 6. Mućke Odabrani dijalozi iz kultne serije 7. Kako biramo šampon Na šta najviše obraćamo pažnju kad biramo šampon? (rezultat ankete među ženama i među muškarcima) 8. Locirajte se! Vi mora da ste iz… ako je većina ovih tvrdnji tačna (Škotska; 5773-5783)

Sačuvajte ovaj broj! Možete od njega da napravite: molersku kapu, brodić, avion koji leti… Urednicima ostalih časopisa: Budite fer i ostavite link za ovaj časopis kad već uzimate materijal odavde!

FEJS-BRUK!

ošto se svakog dana gomilaju svakakve odvale na "Facebook-u", na sajtu http://failbook.com/ su  počele da se pojavljuju slike sa istim. Predstavljamo vam najbolje odvale, a njih ima jako puno pa  je lakše da ih postavimo u tekstualnom obliku. Imena i slike profila su tamo zamaskirane, pa ćemo učesnike u komentarima predstavljati brojevima: [1], [2], [3] itd. Napomene će biti crvenom bojom.

[ FB ] Chat: - Pa, mislim da se ne znamo. - Odakle? o.O - Pa kažem ti mislim da se ne znamo. - Pitam odakle se znamo? Ti si glup ili šta? - Jesi slepa! NE ZNAMO SE! Već treći put ti pišem! [ SMS ] - I love you. - No, you don't. If you did, you would tell the whole world… - I love you. - That wasn't the whole world -.- - You ARE my whole world! ♥ [ SMS ] - Hey dad, wanna play the random game? - Sure. - Potato - Chicken - I'm pregnant... - You're adopted...

[ FB ]

Status: Italians for supper! Yum!

[2]: Cannibal!!!

[1]: No, Italian ham. As in the type of subs commonly bought at "Amato's"

[3] (mama od [1]): We are not Italian so no canibalism involved! :P

[ FB ] Status: I like to compare "System of a down" to Picasso because they're trying to tell a story but you can't understand them. [ T ] Status: I wish Russell Crowe was my dad. Mr. Crowe, if you read this, reply back. Please. Russell Crowe: Do your homework [ FB ] Status: I know we have deadmau5 but what happened to deadmau1, deadmau2, deadmau3 and deadmau4? [2]: The same thing that happened to Maroon 1, Maroon 2, Maroon 3 and Maroon 4 [3]: What about Blink-1, Blink-2, Blink-3... Blink-179, Blink-180 and Blink-181? [ SMS ] [2]: How is our pregnant little daughter? [1]: Mom! How did you know? [2]: I meant perfect. [2]: Wait... WHAT??? [ SMS ] - How much do you love me? - Well, look at the stars and count them. That's how much I love you. - But it's morning. - Exactly.

[ SMS ]

- Yo whre u att gurl? Sooo fuckin hammered. Come to briatneys. We gon get white gurl wasssted.

- Hi there, Random Intoxicated Person. While I would love to abandon my sobriety in the manner of a Caucasian female, as you so eloquently suggested, I am unable to do so. I have a woefully boring engagement, known to many as a "job", that starts promptly at 8 tomorrow. Therefore, I must decline your invitation. Nevertheless, I wish you all the best. Please extend my sincerest regrets to "Briatney".

- Da fukc? lol RU drunk already??

- Alright... Let's try this again. OMG Gurl U got da wrong number! Kaaaay?

[ FB ]

Status: I want someone to teach me kickboxing, but it needs to be free. I'm broke.

[2]: I will kick your ass for free.

[ FB ]

Naslov vesti: "U Jagodini od voska prave Đokovića"

[2]: Kakve veze ima vojska sa Đokovićem? Ne razumem. Nadam se da neće ići u vojsku. Valjda će ministar Goran Šutanovac da ga oslobodi vojske. Pa on mora mnogo bodova da brani ove sezone, idu Olimpijske igre, mora da uzme medalju neku! Sramota od države ako ode u vojsku u najboljim teniskim godinama!

[3]: Ti si bre, dečko KRETEN! Nije vojska nego vosak! Nabavi naočare...

[ SmartPhone ] - Dude, what is homoemo? - It's a gay porn company. Why? - Your browser history is full of it. You forgot your laptop at my house, bro. - Shit. - Yeah, dude. I think someone's been hacking your computer or something. - Yes, that must be it. [ FB ] Status: My phone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" and I sent it anyways. [ FB ] Daughter: added a life event from February 1, 2012 to her timeline: Got Married. Mom: You wanna explain this? [ FB ] - Clean your room. - Nooo!!! Why??? - Nike

I ONI SU BILI KLINCI Novi kviz: Ovo je slika neke poznate ličnosti. Vaš zadatak je da pogodite o kome se radi. Rešenje je na poslednjoj strani.

- What?

- Just do it!

- ... cool, mom.

[ FB ] Status: Anyone have any ideas how to keep my husband from having a swelling lip every time he turns around? [2]: Stop punching him? [ FB ] Status: Thank you for all the birthday love! [2]: It was your birthday? [3]: People love you? [ FB ] Status: Off to Hawai‘i – peace out, America [2]: Hawai‘i's still America [3]: Hawai‘i is still America [4]: Hawai‘i is still America [5]: Hahahahaha... I just peed my pants! That's hilarious! [6]: You are so stupid! [7]: Dude, Hawai‘i is in the Caribean?

[ FB ]

Status: I HATE SMALL TALK

[2]: Is this why you're talking in big letters?

[ FB ]

Status: (link za neku fotografiju) Može lajk? U pitanju je nagradna igra.

[2]: A šta je nagrada? :)

[1]: Putovanje. :D

[2]: A hoću li ja ići na to putovanje?

[1]: Nećeš ti nego ću ja.

[2]: E, nećeš Boga mi ni ti. :-) Pozz

[ FB ] Status: Hey, baby. Wanna come over and... cuddle? ;) [1]: OMG! I'm so sorry! My cat stole my phone! [ FB ] Status: Just found out the Earth rotates around the Sun... Awkss, I thought the Sun circles around us... [2]: LOOOOL [1]: Oh, suddap! It looks like it! Plus no one ever told me 'till now! [3]: What did you think all the other planets did? [1]: Don't they have their own Sun? [ SMS ] Chat: - Please, don't ever change. ♥ - But I'm a transformer...

[ SMS ]

[1]: Dad, there's a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?

[1]: Pls, hurry because I'm going to cry!

[1]: Dad

[1]: Dad

[2]: Your dad is dead. You're next. Love, Moth.

[ FB ]

Status: When you wake up in the middle of the night, and he's still holding your hand in his sleep. ♥

[2]: That's because you forgot to take the handcuffs off! LOL!

[ FB ]

Slika vlasnika naloga sa njegovom devojkom, a on drži čašu sa vinom.

[2]: Is that cranberry juice?

[1]: No. That's my girlfriend.

[ FB ]

Status: She's pretty on Facebook

[2]: She would never go out with you. She's got 48 comments on her profile picture.

[ FB ]

Status: What's that big orange thing in the sky?

[2]: Sun...

[ SMS ]

- Guess who's pregnant? ;)

- Oh, fuck, no!

- Prince William and Kate are having a baby.

- You have no idea how happy I am for them right now.

[ SMS ] Chat: - So, how was the date last night, bro? Did you score? - Not quite. First date we went to dinner and then walked to her home. Then I killed her in the woods outside her house and left. - Killing her seems a bit harsh. Did she order the lobster and filet mignon at dinner or something? - ******** KISSED [ FB ] Status: Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt and being real gets you hated. [2]: So, how many times have you been killed? [ FB ] Status: "Babies, like food, only get spoiled if they are left unattended on a shelf" – Dr. Sears. [2]: Refrigerate after opening and they'll last longer. [ FB ] Status: I keep having Déjà vu... [2]: Didn't you just post this earlier?

[ SMS ]

- Mama, je l' možeš da me odbaciš na Jovaninu žurku?

- Hkasjhdqk – Draga, - ldkasjdjhasd – prekida se veza askljdhsajdkh – tunel – aksjdklajsdlkjsa361

- OK. Okreni me kad izađeš iz tunela!

- Rodila sam idiota...

[ FB ]

Status: Weed is so cool!!! Bob Marley, one love!!! Rasta!!! (I hope my mom doesn't see this status lol)

[1]: She saw it...

[ SMS ]

- Da li bi trebalo još nešto za kuću da se kupi?

- Uzbu jod neje klkosasuce i uznni koku kiligran krpoira ako mije pronmen aja cusve yzetui.

- Ako te nije strefio šlog verovatno si izgubio naočare.

[ FB ]

Status: Lifes good when you dont car bout people

[2]: Yeh. I personaly don't give a truck either.

MUĆKE

● E6 Who wants to be a millionaire Albert: Jedan tip me je napao! Del: Ko te je napao? Albert: On! Zezao me je za moje sviranje na klaviru. Del: Trebalo bi da si se već navikao na to! Džambo: Tipičan Britanac! Jedina stvar koja mu radi su usta! Del: Hoću da popričam s tobom! Džambo, slušaj. Sećaš se onog mog užasnog malog brata, sa smešnom frizurom i sav balav i umazan? Džambo: Da, sećam se... To je on, zar ne? Nisi se ni malo promenio, Rodni! Del: Daj mi Banana koktel za mene i Australijsko pivo za Džamba. Majk: Prodajem samo britansko pivo, Del. Kronenburg, Hofmaister i tako to. Rodni: Zar se ja ništa ne pitam? Možda mi se ne ide u Australiju. Del: Kasno je, već sam dao tvoju reč, shvataš! Rodni: Hteo bi malo da razmislim o tome! Del: Nema potrebe. I to sam uradio za tebe. Rodni: Samo pomisli Rodni -Australija! Tamo gde su muškarci muškarci! Albert: A i žene isto. Albert: Slušaj, proveo sam tri četvrtine života ploveći oko sveta, sad sve što želim je mesto da sednem u tu ostanem. Kad sam došao da živim kod vas dvojice, nadao sam se da ću ovde umreti. Rodni: Da... i mi takođe!

Del: Vidi, Rodni, to je moja zlatna prilika da iskoristim svoj potencijal, zar ne? Šta hoćeš da uradim? Ostanem ovde i valjam sve ovo smeće? Imam 24 kompjutera koji ne rade, imam skoro Persijski tepih koji ima više hrane na sebi nego jelovnik!

LOCIRAJTE SE

¤ Vi mora da ste iz Škotske ako… (UK/SCO poglavlje CIII)

5773. You can properly pronounce the following: Kirkcaldy, St.Enoch, Sauchiehall, Auchinairn and AwFurFuckSake…. 5774. You had to "line up" in the playground and the teachers would get competitive and try desperately to have a straighter line. 5775. If you have married an Englishman and much as you love him, you feel the need to apologise to anyone Scottish you meet. 5776. You live "down south" you get genuinely upset when you have to put on official forms that your country of normal residence is England. 5777. People "down south" think you're really rude when in fact all you're doing is taking the piss and everyone knows that the more you take the piss, the more you like someone - don't they? 5778. You are spoilt by the amazingly beautiful scenery that you wake up to every morning anywhere in Scotland, so much so that you can't fully appreciate those hills that the English find "absolutely amazing". 5779. The Mc and Mac section of the Yellow Pages is huge! 5780. You get £200 to learn something new, you have to live in Scotland though…

5781. You can't resist a flutter on the Grand National or Scottish Grand National and you're always swayed by the name rather than form. You'll bet on any Scottish-related name like "Highland Mist", "Thistle do Nicely" etc.
5782. You pronounce Primark properly; "preemark" not "prymark"!
5783. You try to get someone's attention by shouting "here…"

Rešenje kviza sa četvrte strane: Eminem (Maršal Maters, 1972)

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