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Nedelja, 17. VIII 2008. 

U ovom broju donosimo:

2. Chicken without sexual life

Bukvalan prevod jelovnika iz Beižinga (Pekinga)

3. Grafiti 5

Lepo rečeno

4. 10×10

Malo enigmatike: pronađite pogrešnu reč u rečenicama (kolekcija iz starih brojeva "Politikinog Zabavnika")

6. Hrvatski virusi

Malo vezano za politiku

7. Zdrav život

Opis celodnevnih aktivnosti

CHICKEN WITHOUT SEXUAL LIFE (BĚIJĪNG 2008 MENU)

eople from Western countries visiting China often see some very funny names for Chinese dishes.. One man was so amused by the literal translation that he wanted to make a post on the internet about the "funny names".

             Prim. red.: Izvinjavamo se čitaocima koji insistiraju na "izvornom" pisanju stranih reči i naziva, ali delimično smo uspeli da pronađemo kako se ovi nazivi pravilno pišu na pinjinu.

● Chicken without sexual life ● Red burned lion head ● Husband and wife's lung slice ● Government abuse chicken ● Twice cooked pork ● Bean curd made by a pock-marked woman These translations are first posted at www.chinahistoryforum.com by a foreigner who traveled throughout China. Let's see how "General Zhaoyun" interprets these unusually named dishes…. 1. "Chicken without sexual life" - Tong Zĭ Jī (do you mean virgin chicken?) Proper English translation should be "Spring Chicken" or "Poussin"/"Coquelet" in French. They refer to young chickens which have been bred for eating (for less than 3 months). 2. "Red burned lion head" - Hóng Shāo Shī Zi tóu Proper English translation should be "Freshly Stewed Pork-balls" Note that it's actually pork, but the fact that it looks like lion head, that's why it's called Lion Head (Shīzi tóu) in chinese. But in English, it would really be misleading if people mistake it as lion meat.

3. "Husband and wife's lung slice" - Fu Qi Fèi Piàn
Proper English translation should be "Spicy Pork Lung-slice". It's a Sìchuān food.

4. "Government abuse chicken" - Gong Bao Jī Ding
Proper English translation should be "Chicken with Cashew Nut" or as it is known in the west, simply, "Kung Pao Chicken". It's actually a Chinese food of Shāndōng origin, but is often mistaken as a Sìchuān food as it's quite spicy. I don't know its historical origin, but there must be a history anecdote that leads to why it was literally named "Court Abused Chicken".

5. "Twice cooked pork" - Hui Guo Ròu This is a Sìchuān food that has been literally and correctly translated. 6. "Bean curd made by a pock-marked woman" - Mapo Doufu Proper English translation should be "Bean curd with spicy minced pork". It's a Sìchuān food. As Raymond Zhou wrote in the China daily newspaper: "The process of standardizing a menu translation is a double-edged sword because it removes the ambiguity and unintended humor taking away the fun and the rich connotation". How do we make foreigners, who grew and live in a different culture, fully understand Chinese food names? How do we maintain the original cultural connotation during the translation? Li Yang, the voice director (Do you mean, Public Director?) of the Běijīng Foreign Affair Office said, "Food name translation not only puzzles the foreign tourists, but also puzzles experts who engage in dish translation". He said, "How to translate food names is even a hard job for many linguistic experts". To solve this problem the Běijīng Government invited

many professionals from the USA, UK, Singapore and Hong Kong. They are also seeking more proposals globally. Běijīng is trying to give it’s cuisine a linguistic makeover to cater to the much anticipated foreigners visiting during the Běijīng 2008 Olympic game.

This article is originally published at www.sytra.cn

Chris Leo

(preuzeto odavde)

GRAFITI 5

● M.A.C.I.N.T.O.S.H = Machine Always Crashes, If Not Then OS Hangs
● Dos never says: "Excellent command or filename".

● Mouse not found. Look under the table [Y/N]?

● Hiroshima 45; Chernobyl 85; Windows 95;

● Death is just a consequence of being alive

● Women live longer then men because they don't get married to women.

● Don't worry about life. You are not going to survive it anyway...

● Never trust a nun with a gun.

● My rules only apply to other people, not me.

● Don't play with your food, especially after you have already eaten it.

● Don't let schooling get in way of your education. ● Live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse behind. ● The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an incoming train. ● Girlfriend pregnant: (M)arry, (I)gnore, (A)bort? ● "Two beer, or not two beer" (Shakesbeer) ● If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. ● My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right. ● Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. ● The shortest distance between two points is under construction. ● If Murphy's law can go wrong, it will. ● Don't use force; use a big hammer. ● If you can't convince them, confuse them. ● It's only a game until you lose. ● Laws are like bones. Made to be broken. ● If everything is coming your way, then you must be in the wrong lane. ● It's bad luck to be superstitious. ● Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ● Avoid reality at all costs. ● Experience is what causes a person to do new mistakes instead old ones. ● From all the things I lost I miss my brain most. ● It's better to lose a moment in life then life in a moment. ● If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

10×10 U ovim rečenicama jedna reč ima jedno slovo zamenjeno sa drugim. Tražimo ispravnu rečenicu. 511. Ne tražim ništa posebno, nego samo da za svojih pedeset mačaka dobijem pristojan smeštaj u hotelu. 512. Dedu i babu možete poslati u šetnju, ali pazite da se ne udaraju previše. 513. Princeza je obukla plisiranu haljinu, lake cipele i poderan plavi džemper. 514. Vrt oko dvorca poveren je stručnim baštovanima, pa će u njemu biti mnogo više korova nego ranije. 515. Stranci će se uveriti da građani i ovce aktivno učestvuju u političkom životu. 516. Analiza je dokazala da u tekstovima ovog pisca gotovo uopšte nema pristojnih prideva. 517. Visoki gost je obišao poljoprivredni kombinat i zadržao se u dužem razgovoru sa sadnicama. 518. Okružena prascima, Penelopa je svakog od njih upoređivala sa svojim Odisejem. 519. Po načinu igre ovaj fudbaler me podseća na Mančinija kad je bio u komi. 520. Pravo je svih novinara, a ne samo urednika, da budu pijani kad se odlučuje o sudbini lista. Rešenja su na dnu strane 8.

● Rehab is for quitters.

● I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

● "What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good on this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?" Gandalf.

● Keyboard not found. Press "Enter" to continue... ● Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. ● Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk? ● Give me ambiguity or give me something else. ● We've got what it takes to take what you've got! ● We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. ● Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. ● Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! ● Did anyone see my lost carrier? ● Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. ● I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing! ● He who laughs last thinks slowest! ● Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. ● Save the whales! Collect the whole set ● A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. ● Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. ● There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

● Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

● Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

● Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

● I wont rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it.

● Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

● Double your drive space - delete Windows!

● What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

● If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

● Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

● Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

● Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

● I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.

● Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

● I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

● A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

● Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

● The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

● When there's a will, I want to be in it.

● Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?

● Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

● I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

● We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

● C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

● A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

● All generalizations are false, including this one. ● Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. ● Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy. ● Clap on! , Clap off! clap@#&$NO CARRIER ● 90% of all statistics are made up ● A man needs a good memory after he has lied. ● Apple copyright 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve ● Apple Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton. ● Beam me aboard, Scotty..... Sure. Will a 2×10 do? ● Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg. ● C++ should have been called B ● Coincidence happens. ● Careful. We don't want to learn from this. - Calvin ● Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.

● A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over.

● Bad knee, gotta run - Pat Buchanan to his draft board

● Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!

● Life is a bitch, then you marry one and then you die...

HRVATSKI VIRUSI

● KUTLE VIRUS
Napravi nered na tvom kompjuteru, a onda saznaš da su ti podaci u švicarskoj banci.

● PAŠALIĆ VIRUS

Posvuda je, ali ga niti jedan antivirus ne pronalazi.

● GRANIĆ VIRUS

Napravi nered u direktoriju system, pa ga preimenuje u sysDC.

● HLOVERKA VIRUS Prilagodi se svakom sistemu (bilo windows ili unix). ● ĐAPIĆ VIRUS Prepisuje tekst iz svih *.doc fileova u c:\anto.mgr ● BUDIŠA VIRUS Uništava svaku kreativnu aplikaciju na vašem računalu i pretvara vaš hard u secondary slave… Umrežava vaš PC sa šest drugih bez obzira što nisu kompatibilni. ● RAČAN VIRUS Sve pokrenute programe baca u recycle bin i stalno instalira nove Windowse koji pucaju pri instalaciji... Otvara aplikacije koje ne želite na vašem kompu, a u pozadini vam briše backup. ● RAČAN II VIRUS Naprednija generacija virusa RAČAN koja vas uvjerava da vaše računalo ne može raditi ukoliko ne zaposlite gospođu Račan kao sys admina. ● KOVAČEVIĆ VIRUS

Ruši vaše računalo... Računalo vašeg prijatelja... Ukratko, ruši sva računala... Ako je predizborna kampanja, ispisuje poruku "Illegal software & hardware"

● MESIĆ VIRUS

Automatski ubacuje vašu e-mail adresu u bazu podataka www.haag.com... na displeju ispisuje tekst: "Krivo sam pokrenut".

● LINIĆ VIRUS
Prebacuje brojeve vaših računa na zombi adrese... Uništava većinu logičkih sklopova... Za nered koji izazove na vašem računalu optuži bivšeg vlasnika softvera na računalu ili vas direktno.

● ŠKEGRO VIRUS

Pomnoži sve iznose u bazi žiro-računa banke sa 1,22 i uzme si razliku.

● MUDRINIĆ VIRUS

Modifikacija gore spomenutog. Pomnoži iznos telefonskog računa sa 1,22 i sebi uzme razliku.

● JURE RADIĆ VIRUS

Najnapredniji: napada direktno vaš chip-set; nabrije cooler na duplo brzi rad i zatvori promet na South i North Bridge

● ANTO KOVAČEVIĆ VIRUS

Windowsi se smrzavaju na svaki upit.

● FRANjO VIRUS

Underground virus. Svi obrisani file-ovi uskrsnu i prebrišu novije verzije.

i još:

- Znate kako izgleda bosanski e-mail virus?

- Primite poruku teksta "ajmo se okladit da ne znaš napisat format c:"

ZDRAV ŽIVOT

Moj dan: - Ustajem u 5:30 sati. - Umivanje i osobna higijena hladnom vodom. - Slijedi obavezna tjelovježba od najmanje 30 minuta. - Doručak je dosta obilan. - Radim od 7 do 13:30 sati, ne dulje. - Sredina dana za mene je nešto posebno. Ručak je standardan, ni prevelik, ni premalen. - Uvijek ima nešto jušno ili kašasto. - Slijede kraća šetnja i odmor. Volim prileći, ali ni u tome ne pretjerujem. - Posla se ponovno hvatam od 16 sati, pa do 17:30. Pospremim radno mjesto i napravim si plan za sutra. Uvijek znam kad ću početi i što ću raditi sutradan. - Predvečer ispunim nekom "svojom" aktivnošću, kako me volja (sport ili brža šetnja). Može i neki hobi. Rado sam u vrtu. Volim prirodu, slobodu, svjež zrak.

- Večera je svakako između 19 i 19:30. Odgovara mi laganiji obrok.

- Zatim se posvetim sebi, nekoj vrsti duhovnog razvoja; popričam s nekim, pozitivno razmišljam, ponekad nešto pročitam. Ne volim blebetanja, mrzim ogovaranja ("što je tko učinio", "tko je s kim u klapi" i sl.).

- Prije počinka - šetnja.

- Liježem u 22:30 sati (svjetlo gasim 15 minuta potom).

- Meni odgovara ta urednost ritma, a drugima možda ne. Živim kao po nekom planu.

- S nadređenima dobro surađujem. Znam svoje "mjesto". I osjećam neku sigurnost u njemu.

- Ne pijem, ne trošim novce na bilo što, ne seksam, ne pušim...

            Toliko,

Pozdrav, vaš Mateo

P.S. Ovdje sam dugo. Bude li sve po planu, nadam se nagradnom dopustu za Božić. Takva su zatvorska pravila.

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Rešenja "10×10": 511. maraka; 512. umaraju; 513. moderan; 514. borova, 515. ovde; 516. prisvojnih; 517. radnicama; 518. proscima; 519. Romi; 520. pitani.

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