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Nedelja, 3. V 2009./7517.

Logo Leteći bumbar #269

U ovom broju donosimo:

2. Rimska utvrđenja

Iz "Asteriksa", prema "Zabavniku"

3. Školski biseri

Mrvice sa školske trpeze

4. Špigl - dvojnici poznatih

Foto-feljton: dvojnici poznatih ličnosti.

5. Narodne izreke

Naši idiomi (naVodne izVeke) prevedeni na engleski, dodatak američkoj kulturi

7. Locirajte se!

Vi mora da ste iz… ako je većina ovih tvrdnji tačna (Aljaska; 256-290)

RIMSKA UTVRĐENjA

1. Avakum

2. Album

3. Akvarijum

4. Aluminijum

5. Auditorijum

6. Babaorum

7. Bistrum

8. Bistarum

9. Budimikum

10. Bum

11. Vanitasvanitatum

12. Visokdatum

13. Gubirazum

14. Dobarizum

15. Dumdum

16. Evomigakum

17. Zulum

18. Idiupodrum

19. Izbezum

20. Interegnum

21. Jamajkarum

22. Kakavnaum

23. Kalijum

24. Kalcijum

25. Konzum

26. Konzilijum

27. Kriterijum

28. Lagum

29. Linoleum

30. Maksimum

31. Memorandum

32. Minimum

33. Morfijum

34. Natrijum

35. Nekičudanšum

36. Nemakvorum

37. Nesporazum

38. Oposum

39. Opaknaum

40. Oposum

41. Optimum

42. Pademinaum

43. Pentijum

44. Pijemorum

45. Plenum

46. Podijum

47. Postfestum

48. Postskriptum

49. Pučetigum

50. Ravandrum

51. Rahatlokum

52. Referendum

53. Sedinadrum

54. Sekulasekulorum

55. Selamalejkum

56. Serum

57. Siđiupodrum

58. Stadijum

59. Sumasumarum

60. Ultimatum

61. Univerzum

62. Sivispacemparabelum (istočni)

63. Sivispacemparabelum (zapadni)

64. Unikum

65. Fotoalbum

66. Harmonijum

67. Herbarijum

ŠKOLSKI BISERI

● Đole mi se obraća posle pismenog iz matematike dok smo okruženi ljudima koji će 100% dobiti petice (mi 100% kečeve), tužno me pogleda pa će zatim: "Ljiljo, ja i ti se doznajemo u matematiku ko đavo u Bibliju"
● Đole i Ivan se svađaju za vreme časa. Đole: "Imaš IQ ko temperatura u decembru"
● Profesorica biologije (Mađarica): "Nikom neće pasti ni na kraju pameti"
● Profesorica hemije (Rumunka): "Ima li odsutne"
● Ista profesorica: "Za razliw od karbonilna jedinjenja"
● Profesor Latinskog, čuveni Latinac:

- Jesi ti iz Zrenjanina?
- Da.
- Toga sam se i bojao.
● Profesorica bilogije mi se obraća: "Lil jana (Ljiljana), ništa ne radi zašto, za vreme ovog časa Ivan?"
● Profesorica hemije: "Kažite mi sada, taj čuveni dietil etar ili etar, šta ste vi čuli za nju?"
● Profesorica hemije: "To je u deseti u pola deset"
● Profesorica hemije: "Neću više nikad samu sebe da dovedem u situaciji"
● Profesorica hemije: "Sve podatke koje vam nisu jasni podaci"
● Profesorica informatike pregleda kako smo uradili zadato: "Dva učenika su uradila dobro, ostali mogu da duvaju"

● Profesorica biologije: "Imam samo jedan folija"
● Profesorica biologije: "Baš ga briga da li će proći 4,00 ili skroz vrlo dobar"
● Profesorica francuskog: "Ivana (gleda u Vesnu), ti si odsutna"
● Profesorica francuskog: "Tu si negde između 5 i 6"
● Profesorica biologije: "Nemojte se praviti Englezi"
● Profesorica biologije: "Biljna organizmi"

● Profesorica bilogije: "Ćelijski organele"
● Profesorica biologije: "Kako bih (a "bih" se koristi samo za prvo lice jednine) to obrazložila?"
Tamara: "Ne bih obrazložila"

ŠPIGL – DVOJNICI POZNATIH

Toni Cetinski → Bubimir / Bitlđus

TLL Toni Cetinski i Bubimir-Bitlđus (sa niktitanik.com)

● Profesorica biologije: "Kaži za fosfor?"

Milana, koja je podigla ruku: "Mogu u WC?"

● Profesorica biologije: "A gde li je Vladislava? Već pô sata je u WC-u. Da zovem hitnu?"
Tamara: "A profesorice, možda kaki"
● Đole: "Umro je od smrti"

● Vanja je stalno lagala i ponavljala da ne može da piše jer je širila zenice. Profesor matematike je nešto pita i ona ga nije čula. On opet ponovi, a ona ništa i dalje. Na to će Đole: "Širila je uši pa ne čuje"
● Alisa odmah nakon što je profesor predao kontrolne iz fizike, odgovara. Đole: "Alisa popravlja pet sa tačkom"
● Profesor istorije koji nema ruku pa ima pisara koji piše: "Pisaru pisareviću"
● Profesor engleskog: "To bi bilo kao da kažete 'Moja sestra praviš prijatelje veoma lako'"
● Profesorica informatike upisuje odsutne: "Opet ima mnogo da nema"
● Vanja za vreme časa rešava ukrštene reči i za junački spev napiše JS.
● Ivan odgovara srpski: "Nije znao da je put do žene tako težak. Pun brda i dolina i visokih planina"
● Profesor matematike: "Ovo je lako! To znam i ja da uradim"
● Profesor matematike: "Ljiljana spava, a vi se derete! Pustite je da spava"

● Profesorica srpskog: "Vanja mene ne zanima. Rekla sam ti 500 puta da se javiš da odgovaraš i onda kad ti kažem petsti put…"

● Profesorica srpskog: "Od malih dana je žudeo"

Ma, gimnazija je zakon…

NARODNE IZREKE

Slovo S kromni doprinos razvoju američke hamburger-kulture uz nadu da će oplemeniti svoj jezik našim umotvorinama. Ako uspeju da ih svhate, pošto uz njih nije priloženo uputstvo sa slikama.

Dakle, krećemo:

IDIOMI I IZREKE	PREVOD
Idi u dupe na vašar	Go to the ass on the fair
U kom grmu leži zec?	Which bush hides the lying rabbit?
Znam te, koko, dok si jaje bila	Chicken, i knew you when you were an egg
Drži vodu dok majstori odu	Hold the water until the repairmen leave
Poljubio je zatvorena vrata	He kissed the closed door
Kud puklo da puklo	Where cracked yes cracked
Um caruje, snaga klade valja	Mind rules, power rolls the logs
Ko umije, njemu dvije	If you know how, you get two
Videćemo čija majka crnu vunu prede	We shall see whose mother knits the black wool
Uzdaj se u se i u svoje kljuse	Trust yourself and your horse
Za dobrim konjem prašina se diže	A cloud of dust follows a good horse
Vrag s tobom gloginje mlatio	May the devil beat hawthornes with you
Ko o čemu, baba o uštipcima	Who about what, grandma about doughnuts
Poklonjenom konju u zube se ne gleda	You're not supposed to look at the teeth of a horse you got as a present
Ne možeš i jare i pare	You can't have both lamb and the money
Kad na vrbi rodi grozđe	When the willow gives birth to grapes
Čizma glavu čuva, šubara je krasi	A boot keeps the head, šubara decorates it
Videla žaba da se konj potkiva pa i ona digla nogu	A frog saw that horse getts shoed, so she too lifted a leg
Ko rano rani dve sreće grabi	Who early earlies, two lucks grabs
Ni po babu ni po stričevima	Neither according to father nor according to uncles
Daleko ti lepa kuća	Let your pretty house be far away
Živi bili pa videli	Be alive, and you'll see
On mlati praznu slamu	He's beating the empty hay
Ustani, kume, da sedne sviračeva majka	Get up, best man, let the musician's mother sit
Lezi 'lebu da te jedem	Bread, lay down, so I can eat you
Prvo skoči, pa reci "hop"	Jump first, then say "hop"
Sira i vojne muzike	Cheese and military music
Kom opanci, kom obojci	Someone gets strapped soft soiled footware, others get footrags
Zasviraj i za pojas zadeni	Play up, and fit it into your belt
Otiš'o si, sarmu probo nisi	You left before you tried stuffed cabbage
Sjaši Kurta da uzjaše Murta	Get off Kurta, let Murta ride
Nema odmora dok traje obnova	There's no holiday during a reconstruction
Riba ribi grize rep	One fish eats the tail of another fish
Došla maca na vratanca	A kitten came to the small door
Gde svi Turci tu i mali Mujo	Where all the Turks, little Mujo as well
Beš'te noge, posr*ću vas!	Legs, run away, or I'll shit you
Doće Cica na kolica	Cica will come on carriage
Ne traži dlaku u jajetu	Don't look for a hair in an egg
Nema sanja posle pianja	There's no shitting after pissing
Ko kosi, a ko vodu nosi	Who mows and who carries the water
Sranje kroz gusto granje	Shit through the thick branches
Slažu se ko rogovi u vreći	They're defragmenting like horns in a bag
Lupaš k'o Maksim po diviziji	You're banging like Maksim at a division
Bože mili, čuda velikoga, kad se šćaše po zemlji Srbiji	Dear God, the strange events when they walk over land of Serbia
Ubio si ga k'o zeca	You shot him like a rabbit
Pijan k'o majka	Drunk like a mother
Preveo ga žednog preko vode	He carried a thirsty man across the water
Pljunuti otac	Spitted father
Mota ga oko malog prsta	She's winding him up around the pinkie
Je*em radoznale i slažem na gomilu	I'm fucking the curious ones and piling them up
Ne lipši magarče do zelene trave	Donkey, don't kick the bucket untill green grass
Je*o te voz koji te don'o	Fuck the train who brought you here
I mi konja za trku imamo	We also have a horse for a race
Na muci se poznaju junaci	Heroes are recognized during suffering
Ko sa decom spava, popišan se budi	Who sleeps with children, wakes up wet
Muda labudova	Swan's nut
Ko se o mleko opeče taj i u jogurt duva	Who got burnt from milk, blows into yogurt
Mož' da bidne, a i ne mora da bidne	Could be to be, could be not to be
Hoćeš, malo sutra	You will, little tomorrow
Nema teorije!	No theory!
Limburga mesjeca kad se majmuni budu šišali	In the month of Limbourgh, when monkeys get their haircuts

LOCIRAJTE SE

256. You have to ski in gym class
257. You know who "Binki" was, made fun of that stupid Australian tourist, and was so sad when he died.
258. You expect to see a moose crossing Tudor every time you drive down.
259. You give up and tell people in the lower 48 that you do live in an igloo and you do have a pet polar bear named Mishka when they refuse to believe otherwise.
260. You call someone without a crack in there windshield a tourist
261. You remember what Showboats was and you're little sad it's gone.
262. When you go to the lower 48 you wonder where everybody's block heater cable is

263. You keep your gun in the back of your truck during school so you can go hunting as soon as the bell rings.
264. You and your friends climb mountains to party, or sometimes just for the hell of it.
265. You've seen a 2-month old moose get hit by a full-size van at 65mi/h, then get up and run off
266. Two words: "Korn Fritters"
267. Your parents taking you trick-or-treating involves riding door-to-door in the car
268. You go to Juneau to go shopping

269. You know what muskeg is
270. You don't think Anchorage is "real Alaska"… Because it's not
271. Anything short of a torrential downpour and raining sideways is "good weather"
272. You cannot stay inside when the sun is out, no matter how briefly
273. You have worn X-tra Tuffs to school or work
274. Your town has one highway that everyone calls "out the road"
275. You know everybody in your hometown, and I mean everybody!
276. You have taken a float plane or a commercial fishing vessel for a school trip
277. You get bored and go porcupine hunting
278. Your favorite weekend activity is "camping"
279. You know what "mac" is, and although you abhor it, you still drink it
280. You party in rock pits or on boats/docks and build fires in said rock pits and on beaches
281. You are more proud to be an Alaskan than an American and you don't really get offended when people mistake you for being Canadian
282. You tell people down south you are a commercial fisherman and they ask if it's like "Deadliest Catch"

283. You know all the cops by their first names and count the cars at the station before heading out to party
284. You think name brands are "Grundens", "Helly Hansen", "Xtra Tuff", and "Carhartt"
285. Your Christmas list includes such items as "Mustang" suits, raingear, long underwear, or a kayak
286. You know the SeaTac Airport better than anyone else in the world, particularly concourses D, N, and C.
287. You have thought about inventing a bumper sticker that reads "this car does not brake for cannery workers" (variations include same phrase in other languages or substituting "tourists" for "cannery workers")

288. Fishing is not a hobby but a job
289. You know what dogs, reds, humpys, coho, pinks, sockeye, chinook, chum, and kings are and can tell them all apart
290. When you can tell the difference between wild and farmed salmon in a restaurant, even if the waiters can't

Friz

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