Nedelja, 7. XI 2010.
U ovom broju donosimo:
Kako se razgovara, a kako ne.
Idealno rešenje za sve probleme sa kosom!
4. Brak i seks
Teorije stand-up komičara
Ili: Zašto propada američka ekonomija
Kako izbeći nezgodne situacije
Vi mora da ste iz… ako je većina ovih tvrdnji tačna (Kolorado, Kolorado Springs; 2345-2376)Medicinski problemi u svetu crtaća
O Dragi, jesi li se umorio? = Jadan ne bio, opet si se usafunjo!
O Dragi, hoćeš li i danas s prijateljima na piće? = O'š se opet naroljat' k'o i juče?
O Možda da razmisliš još o tome? = Je l' to u tvom selu krave pasu pamet djeci?
O Draga, jesi li se odmorila? = Zmija više provede na nogama od tebe.
O Draga, dolaze li tvoji roditelji na večeru? = Hoće li opet oni tvoji starci na sijelo? Sve mi popiše i pojedoše!
O Draga, da li ti zaista tako misliš? = Je si li ti normalna pička ti materina ma'nita?
O Imamo dvoje predivne djece = Imamo dva hajvana, jedu ko krmci, a isto tako i uče.
O Draga, hoćeš li da ti napravim kaficu? = Ako ti je ja skuham biće ti posljednja!
O Draga, divna ti je ova nova frizura! = Opet si se frizirala! Ti imaš kosu samo da bi ti frizerka imala platu!
O Draga, posudila si moj aparat za brijanje da obriješ noge. = Još mi jednom to uradi, frezom ću ti obrijat noge!
O Draga, hoćeš li mi to bolje objasniti? = Gukni gusko, zoru ti jebem!
O Draga, ja se ne slažem s tobom oko toga. = Jebo sve ako si ti normalna!
O Baš bi mi prijala romantična večera uz muziku. = Haj' ti rasuči jufku, ali prvo meni naspi jednu rakiju i trkni kupi dvije-tri teretne pive.
O Draga, na koga je naše djete? = Šta si ovo okotila?
O Baš si slatka večeras. = Slatka si ko ona Zekulja sa "Milka" čokolade.
O Kupila si divne cipele. = Pička ti materina, svake godine moraš po jedne cipele kupiti!
O Malo bih se odmorio poslije ručka. = Ko me probudi nogu ću mu slomiti.
Kosa vam je posle kupanja uvek mokra?
Imate dlake na glavi?
Razvijaju vam se niži primati u kosi?
Svrbi vas glava posle 30 dana bez pranja kose?
Ovo su samo neke tegobe s kosom koje muče milione i milione kao što ste vi!
Naučna istraživanja su utvrdila da širom planete, svaka osoba bar neki period u svom životu ima kosu! To je zaista zabrinjavajuće!
Zagađenost vazduha, globalno otopljenje i svetska ekonomska kriza nemaju blage veze s tim fenomenom i pojavom!
Kako se boriti protiv toga?
Predstavljamo vam nas najnoviji proizvod iz kozmetičko-degenerativne kolekcije BBB (Be Bold Bitch)!
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Više informacija na našem oficijalnom sajtu
Vaš TOP SHOP!
1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings..."
5. There are only two four-letter words that are offensive to men – "don't" and "stop", unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Q: What's an Australian kiss?A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
13. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing…
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives!
Why America's economy fell off the cliff?
John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (made in Japan) for 6 am. While his coffeepot (made in China) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (made in Hong Kong). He put on a dress shirt (made in Sri Lanka), designer jeans (made in Singapore) and tennis shoes (made in Korea). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (made in India) he sat down with his calculator (made in Mexico) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (made in Taiwan) to the radio (made in India) he got in
his car (made in Germany) filled it with gas (from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search for a good paying American job. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer (made in Malaysia), John decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (made in Brazil), poured himself a glass of wine (made in France) and turned on his TV (made in Indonesia), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in America.
And now he's hoping he can get help from the president (made in Kenya)!!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
~ ~ ~
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!
~ ~ ~
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: I'm with you, honey, those guys are the scum of the earth.
~ ~ ~
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of vegetables left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
~ ~ ~
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that bathrobe.¤ Vi mora da ste iz Kolorada ako… (USA, poglavlje XLIV)
2345. You think only stupid people get lost in your town.
2346. When giving directions, you never say "Turn left, turn right", it's always: go West, then South.
2347. During a thunderstorm you wonder "which I-25 underpass is flooding".
2348. You never plan a picnic between 3:30 and 6:00 in Spring or Summer months.
2349. If it rains more than 2 days straight you compare the weather to being in
2350. You voted for higher taxes to fund Coors field, but voted down taxes for public transportation.
2351. You have a broken windshield.
2352. You see no reason to travel to
2353. You carry your $3.000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.
2354. You thought "Californication" would be banned by Amendment 2.
2355. You think "
2356. You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail.
2357. You have a flat tire in your refrigerator and your garage.
2358. You own a big dog named
2359. You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.
2360. You've never seen the tourist attractions in your own city.
2361. You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman.
|2362. You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding. |
2363. Your real Y2K fear was running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix.
2364. The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
2365. You personally wouldn't pay $10 per head to drive up
2366. You get depressed after one day of foggy weather.
2367. You think that formal wear is ironed denim.
2368. North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right"; and east and west are where all those damned liberals keep moving in from.
2369. You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky"
and you notice the sky is no longer blue.
2370. You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks.
2371. You see your East Coast relatives now more than when you lived there.
2372. You think gun control is a steady hand.
¤ Vi mora da ste iz Kolorado Springsa ako… (SAD, Kolorado, poglavlje XLV)
tired of having to abbreviate "
2374. You remember the old, tiny Bijou bridge and when trucks would crash into it, backing up traffic forever.
2376. If you went to Doherty, you thought Wasson was ghetto. If you went to Wasson, Mitchell was the ghetto. If you went to Mitchell, it was Sierra. If you went to Sierra… welcome to the effing ghetto, bitches.