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Nedelja, 1. VI 2012.

Logo Leteći bumbar 432 

U ovom broju donosimo:

2. Fejs-bruk!                           Engleski jezik

            Smejurije sa Fejsbuka

4. Špigl - dvojnici poznatih

            Foto-feljton: dvojnici poznatih ličnosti.

7. Locirajte se!                       Engleski jezik

            Vi mora da ste iz… ako je većina ovih tvrdnji tačna (Tenesi; 5011-5040)

 

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Vampir donator krvi

FEJS-BRUK!

Slovo Pošto se svakog dana gomilaju svakakve odvale na "Facebook-u", na sajtu http://failbook.com/ su  počele da se pojavljuju slike sa istim. Predstavljamo vam najbolje odvale, a njih ima jako puno pa  je lakše da ih postavimo u tekstualnom obliku. Imena i slike profila su tamo zamaskirane, pa ćemo učesnike u komentarima predstavljati brojevima: [1][2][3] itd. Napomene će biti crvenom bojom.


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Chat (tip devojci):

[2]: Nado, a da ugasimo fejs i da se mazimo? (...) Ne, a? (...) Bole te k*rac

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Status: ShE WaS My EveRyThINg. ToRn ApArT. 1nCe aGiN...

[2]: SoN, PlEaSe LeArN hOw 2 TyPe... Also, stop being a pussy and come help me clean the garage.

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Status: When you feel hated by that one person who means everything to you. :'(

[2]: I know how you feel. My cat's been ignoring me quite a lot recently.

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Status: Why am I golfing alone?

[2]: Because nobody loves you. Or golf.

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Status: The "Titanic" sank because it was filled beyond capacity with time travelers trying to find out why it sank.

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Status: Got my prom dress. :-)) This is what it looks like! ♥ => C:\Documents and Settings\Dan\My Documents\My Pictures\2x18x12\2x18x12 023aa.jpg

[2]: Fail?

[1]: Not really? You have to copy it and paste it where you would type in a website.

Čak i Bins

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Status: Neznam šta sam propustijo pa te nisam vidjo dosad,...

[2]: Ništa... Srpski jezik i kulturu izražavanja za 3. razred osnovne...

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Status: (devojka je postavila sliku sa natpisom: "Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people)

[2]: Your dad won't have to kill no one. lol

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Status: The average person tells 4 lies a day or 1460 a year. A total of 87.600 by the age of 60. And the most common lie is: "I'm fine"

[2]: Actually, I'm pretty sure the most common lie is "I agree to the above terms and conditions"

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Zečji Kung fu

Status: I donated blood today. What did you do to better humanity today?

[2]: Reduced the amount of alcohol in the world.

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Status: Why does Samuel L. Jackson always play a black guy?

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Status: Is there internet in Ghana?

[2]: No, we have to ride our goats all the way to Europe and then beg people to let us use their internet.

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Status: The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains". Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever!

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Status: Warm spring and summer nights are made to be spent outside.

[2]: Nice try, mosquito disquised as a teenage girl!

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Status: So, I googled "fun things to do over the summer for teenagers" and one of the hits was "Get a job"...

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Chat:

- Back off my girl, punk!

- Uh, who are you?

- Katie's boyfriend. Just noticed you like her updates.

- LOL! Are you f*cking serious? "I liked her updates" – grow up, little boy. Bye-bye!

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Status: Lajk ako me smatraš prijateljicom, ako ne – ignoriraj ovaj status!

[2]: Da bar postoji dislike opcija

[1]: Kakve slike?                       (dislike)

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Status: So, I took off her shirt. She said: "Good. Now take off my skirt". So I took off her skirt. Then she said: "Take off my shoes, bra and underwear". So I did. Then she said: "Good. Now, don't let me catch you ever wearing my clothes again!"

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Status: So, today I was telling a coworker about the book/movie "The Road" and I mentioned that it was a post-apocalyptic story. And she goes: "So, is it a true story?"

[2]: So, was it?

[1]: Oh, yeah. You remember that apocalypse we had a while back, right?

[2]: Yea. That was awesome.

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Chat:

- Jbg, kad ne vidim. Sori, sori, soriiiiii... Primaš izvinjenje? ;)

- Ako ti primiš nešto drugo ;)

- Kao na primer štaaaa?

- Naguzi se. Shvatićeš. :)

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Chat:

[1]: Lepa si, ali baš si lepa. Ako se nešto može nazvati spontanom reakcijom onda je to moja reakcija kad sam video tvoju sliku. Ako ceniš iskrene muškarce koji nemaju dlaku na jeziku, a mi vojni piloti smo baš takvi onda ću reći sledeće: prvo što mi je palo na pamet je da te bacim na krevet i da te tucam sa ovim mojim velikim k*rcem kao niko do sad jer znam da takav seks budi najjaču emociju. I znam da se prava dama nikada neće naljutiti na tipa ako je iskren. A u tebi vidim originalnu damu. Ako ćeš da se lažemo onda ću da ti pišem pesme, ovde postavljam lažne slike, lažem te itd. U nadi da si ovu poruku shvatila na pravi način očekujem da se javiš. Ako se ne javiš, onda izvini što sam ti se obratio na ovakav način. Mnogo si, bre, dobra riba!

[1]: Poštovani u, spontano sam se nasmejala vašem originalnom ispadu (razlika od 10 godina mi ipak nalaže da vam persiram – nadam se da vam nije neugodno zbog toga i da mi nećete zameriti na originalnom odgovoru).

ŠPIGL – DVOJNICI POZNATIH

Rijana  Devojka (?) od Pere Detlića

Rijanina odeća

Postoji jedno nepisano pravilo, a to je da su najveći lažljivci:

a)      oni koji tvrde da uvek govore istinu

b)      oni koji tvrde da imaju veliki penis

Prijatno ateriranje.

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Status: Sine, nisi pojeo supu i ostavio si parče hleba. Odma' se vrati kući i da završiš ovo!

[2]: Aaaaa! o.O Baba, brišem te iz prijatelja!

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Status: You is kind! You is smart! You is important!!!

[2]: You is illiterate!

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Status: I want a tank!

[2]: Well then, why don't you get one?

[1]: Because they cost several million dollars. I don't have that kind of money.

[2]: Now, wait a second! You have credit cards, right?

[1]: Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit card company? They'll come after me.

[2]: Don't be silly! You have a tank!

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Chat:

[1]: Hakovan je profil mom dečku. Šta da radim?

[2]: Uzmi fotoaparat. Pozovi dečka. I možete da se slikate.

Dinosaurusi i Potop

[1]: Baš ti hvala!

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Tweet:

Jelena Karleuša: Srbija ima pamćenje akvarijumske ribice. (@karleusastar)

Pokojna Mileva: Zato ti i opstaješ. (@PokojnaMileva)

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iPhone:

- Hey, babe...

- Yeah?

- I gotta tell you something

- It's 3:38 AM...

- Take it seriously...

- What...?

- I am the Batman...

- You're drunk, aren't you?

- Yeah...

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Status: Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive!

[2]: You spelled "drive" wrong, dork!

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Chat:

- Eeeeeee... Šta ima?

- Ne mogu da ti odgovorim. Ne radi mi tastatura, pa kad popravim... Može?

- Aha, ok... XD

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iPhone chat – prvi deo:

- Hi! Do you have a boyfriend?

- Yes... Who are you?

- It's your dad... Be home this weekend, and we'll talk!

iPhone chat – drugi deo:

- Hi... Do you have a boyfriend?

- Not a chance. Who are you, anyway?

- It's your boyfriend. Sucks to know that you're not proud to be with me... :(

- Sorry, babe. I thought you're my dad... He texted me a while back asking the same question.

- Yes, it's me. Your dad... We'll have a long talk this weekend!

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iPhone chat:

- Dude, why is there a crack on my phone?

- Last night while you were drinking you threw your phone.

- Now, why would I do that?

- You put in "airplane mode" and threw it. You kept yelling: "Transform, damn you!"

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Status: This is too awesome not to share. Happened to me yesterday. As some of you know, my text notification on my Droid has been the light saber sound. That came in to play pretty hilariously yesterday. I went to the bathroom at the public restroom next to our store. Only has two urinals, and one was already occupied. So I walked up to the one next to it, and right as I undo the buttons on my slacks, I got a text message and the light saber sound goes off. I had to pause for a second as the guy next to me was looking at me with a very quizzical look on his face, somehow I was able to look at him, very calmy and seriously and say: "Happens every time..."

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Komentari na sliku četiri devojke, od kojih je jedna izrazito debela:

Naslov slike: Hey, guys! Name my band!

Komentari:

- Logicaly, we probably won't be friends in 3 months

- Walrus and Friends

- Jupiter and the Moons

- We forgot the harpoons

- Hungry, hungry Hellen

- We survived the abortion

- Our parrents hate us

- I eat to feel happy

- Fat

- Happy meal and the Toys

- I don't think you have a band. Just a fat bitch and three ugly skanks.

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FB profil:

Religious views: Atheist

Political views: Only God can judge me
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Mače na laptopu

Pismo Marku Cukenbergu (sve je na srpskom):

Alo, rođače, koja je tebe muka naterala da akaš kompjuter i da praviš "Fejsbuk"? A kakav ti je to retardirani koledž gde si ti imao vremena da praviš i održavaš sajt kao što je "Fejsbuk"? (...) Ti si napravio taj sajt za tamo tvoje neke giliptere iz kraja, da se kao čujete u vezi faksa kao, (...) i sada zbog tvog glupog sajta jedna devojka će celu subotu veče da provede gledajući u belo-plavu pozadinu, dopisivati se sa dokonim ljudima kao što si ti bio nekada, a ja ću isto to raditi jer smo trebali da izađemo da prošetamo... Ti sada verovatno gledaš tursku seriju neku i boli te lakat za sve ovo i ako pročita neko iz te tvoje kompanije ovako, na srpskom, misliće da je recept za jelo na stranom jeziku (...) ta devojka o kojoj ti pričam ima da legne da spava, jer je umorna bila u NS-u na nekom rođendanu... I mogao bih svašta još da ti kažem, ali drugom prilikom, nego ovako ko čovek da te zamolim da isključiš FB od negde 21:00 do 01:00h, da odemo da prošetamo i posle radi šta hoćeš. Ajde, ljubi te brat... pozz

LOCIRAJTE SE

Grafika majmunče

¤        Vi mora da ste iz Tenesija ako… (SAD, poglavlje XCV)

5011. There are more cars in your front yard overgrown with grass then in a small dealership.
5012. You have more fun at the local go kart track for 5 minutes than you do at Dollywood for the whole day.
5013. Your family considers fried chicken and mashed potatoes a huge deal, and they actually look forward to it.
5014. You consider a "cool down" below 95°F (35°C).
5015. You get out of school for NASCAR events, but not for Martin Luther King Jr. day.
5016. You know that the difference between a fiddle and a violin is that the violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs".
5017. You learned the electric slide and how to square dance in your elementary school gym class.
5018. You eat turnip greens for money and black eyed peas for good luck in the new year on Jan 1st of every year.
5019. Your town has a barbecue festival.

5020. Your police force is in federal penitentiary, half of the citizens got indicted on charges of cock fightin', and most of your friends and family are still makin "good ol' shine".
5021. Your favorite shirt is orange cause you can wear it to the game on Saturday, huntin' on Sunday and to work for

the highway department on Monday and you never have to change!
5022. If you're late for school because you get stuck behind a tractor pulling hay or tobacco… And its excused everytime.
5023. If you know that you can go 70 mi/h on Pellissippi when the speed limit is really only 55 mi/h… The only people who go 55 are from out of state.
5024. If you even know what Pellissippi is.
5025. If you have a "Fair Day" where you can go to the county fair instead of school… And its excused.
5026. If pinto beans and corn bread are included in every meal.
5027. If there are 20 or more people at every holiday, and they're all immediate family.

Street art
5028. At family reunions half the family brings Fried Chicken, half the family brings Biscuits and Tater Salad, and the other half brings Sweet Tea.
5029. You have 4 lawn mowers and you never know which one is gonna work.
5030. If grillin with charcoal is the only way… Gas grills are for Yankee idiots who cant wait.
5031. There's no need to throw the food out, give it to the dogs.

5032. You order your meat burnt, not well done.
5033. You order Greens and Grits with everything.
5034. You got your first shotgun on your seventh birthday.

5035. At family reunions one part of the family brings Fried Chicken, another part brings the Biscuits and Tater Salad, and the other part brings Sweet Tea.

5036. You say granma and granpa, without the "d".
5037. You consider a visit to the Jack Daniel's Distillery to be a cultural experience (as opposed to say a museum). And, it's mandatory for every Tennessean to go at least once in his/her lifetime.

5038. You've watched a baby possum eat out of the dog's food bowl, then woke up the entire family to show them.
5039. You live to go to the Redneck Riviera.
5040. Your pickup truck makes a monster truck look like a toy.


Baloteli i majonez

Friz

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