Prethodni brojArxiwaFejsbuk stranicaMarketingGlavna stranicaSledeći broj

=●=

Nedelja, 19. V 7532.

Logo Leteći bumbar #478

U ovom broju donosimo:

2. Klopka za komarice

            Provereno efikasna naprava

2. Naše 3                    Tekst poslao čitalac

            Kritika ovogodišnjeg nastupa srpskih predstavnica

3. Kodovi (2/2)            Engleski jezik

            Tajne naredbe koje koriste asistenti na fakultetima

4. Tagulator

            Fore sa njuzgrupa

6. Locirajte se!           Engleski jezik

            Vi mora da ste iz… ako je većina ovih tvrdnji tačna [bivša Jugoslavija (pleonazam, zar ne?); 5809-5863]

7. Ove nedelje u bioskopu "Ode on"

            Pilot epizoda "Dva i po muškarca"

Sačuvajte ovaj broj! Možete od njega da napravite: molersku kapu, brodić, avion koji leti…

Urednicima ostalih časopisa: Budite fer i ostavite link za ovaj časopis kad već uzimate materijal odavde!

Uticaj kafe

Klopka

NAŠE 3

Slovo Ko je pomešao babinu komovicu za ispiranje čireva i poslao na Euroviziju one, one, one... Pa, ja ne znam! 

 Rušku Jakić, Leu Kiš i Isidoru Bjelicu bolje da su poslali na MISS Univerzuma!!!
            Stajling i kostimografija... Pa, ne znam... Ja podržavam te radionice mentalno zaostale dece, podržavam i zapošljavanje mentalno obolelih ljudi u krojačkim radnjama, ali nemojte davati LSD tim osobama dok kreiraju i šiju za scenske nastupe!
            Koreografija... Đani i ja bi bolje otplesali to s našim nogicama, posle 7 litara domaće loze, ponaosob.
            Melodija je pevljiva... U određenom trenutku tuširanja ili suzbijanju tegoba stomačnog zatvora na WC šolji. Da se razumemo, nemam ja ništa protiv te 3 kobile koje zvuče kao jeleni u teranju... ništa efikasno...
            Marija(n) Šerifović je imala odličnu pesmu po mom mišljenju! Zeljko Joksimović takođe (oba puta)! Onaj Milan Stanković i pesma "Balkan"... To je trebalo zadaviti usijanim gajtanom od monofazne struje! A tek onaj debeli gmaz gmižući, Marko Kon i Milan Nikolić sa pesmom "Cipela"... Pa išli bi kući sa sve cipelarnikom u bulji!!!
            Jedina pohvala za ovogodišnju pesmu, jeste što je primećen veliki pomor gmižućih insekata, i migracija glodara iz zemlje, s obzirom da se pesma mogla čuti sa svakog drugog TV prijemnika...

Mrki Piercer

KODOVI (2/2)

Tehnologija
Pošto mnogim čitaocima ovaj članak nije bio jasan sada ćemo vam malo pojasniti o čemu se radi: na "kompjuteraškim" fakultetima, asistenti nadgledaju projekte (eksperimente i domaće zadatke) koje obavljaju studenti. Naravno, kada se nešto pobrlja zbog preopterećenosti (recimo, ceo sprat muške spavaonice skida porniće) onda su obično asistenti krivi – ni krivi ni dužni! Zbog toga je nastao ovaj tekst o tajnim kompjuterskim naredbama i njihovim značenjima.

Skraćenica                   Objašnjenje

 

ABC                            AlphaBetize Code

ACDP                          Allow Controller to die peacefully

ACQT                         Advance Clock to Quitting Time

AFH                            Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary

AIB                              Attack Innocent Bystander

AMS                            Add Memory to System

ANFSCD                    And Now For Something Completely Different

AOI                             Annoy Operator Immediate

AR                               Alter Reality

ARZ                             Add and Reset to Zero

AWTT                         Assemble with Tinker Toys

BA                               Branch Anywhere

BAH                            Branch and Hang

BAW                           Bells and Whistles

BBW                           Branch Both Ways

BCF                             Branch and Catch Fire

BF                               Belch Fire

BLM                            Branch, Like, Maybe

BLP                             Boot from Line Printer

BPP                             Branch & Pull Plug

CAIL                           Crash After I Leave

BFM                            Be Fruitful and Multiply

BLR                             Branch and Lose Return

BOHP                          Bribe operator for higher priority

BST                             Backspace and Stretch Tape

BWABL                      Bells, Whistles, and Blinking Lights

Tagulator

CBBR                          Crash & Blow Boot ROM

CCC                            Crash if Carry Clear

CCD                            Clear Core and Dump

COLB                          Crash for Operator's Lunch Break

CPB                             Create Program Bug

CRB                            Crash and Burn

DBR                            Debase Register

EDR                             Execute Destructive Read

EFE                             Emulate Fatal Error

EOI                              Explode On Interrupt

EPITS                          Execute Previous Instruction Then Skip

HACF                          Halt And Catch Fire

HELP                           Type "No Help Available"

HUAL                          Halt Until After Lunch

IEOF                           Ignore End Of File

IMV                             IMpress Visitors

JCI                               Jump to Current Instruction

JFM                             Jump on Full Moon

JRCF                           Jump Relative and Catch Fire

JRSR                           Jump to Random Subroutine

KEPITU                      Kill Every Process In The Universe

KSR                            Keyboard Shift Right

LCC                            Load and Clear Core

MAN                           Make Animal Noises

MBTD                         Mount Beatles on Tape Drive

MO                              Mount Operator

MLB                            Memory Left shift and Branch

NPC                            Normalize Program Counter

PAUD                          PAUse Dramatically

PFML                          Print Four Million Lines

PPSW                          Pack Program Status Word

UAI                             Use Alternate Instruction set

WPET                          Write Past End of Tape

Fina osoba

Sperry (Unisys) 1100/90 kodovi:

 

Skraćenica                   Objašnjenje

 

AGB                Add GarBage

BBL                 Branch on Burned out Light

BAH                Branch And Hang

BLI                  Branch and Loop Infinite

BPB                 Branch on Program Bug

BPO                Branch if Power Off

CPB                 Create Program Bug

CRN                Convert to Roman Numerals

DAO                Divide And Overflow

ERS                 Erase Read-only Storage
HCF                Halt and Catch Fire

IAD                 Illigical And

IOR                 Illogical Or

PAS                 Print And Smear

RBT                 Read and Break Tape

RPM                Read Programmer's Mind

RSD                 Read and Scramble Data

XIO                 Execute Invalid Opcode

 

Stvarno bolesni kodovi (Talisman/North-Keys):

 

Skraćenica       Objašnjenje

 

BAD                Branch And Detonate

BAS                 Branch And Shit

BCA                Branch to Current Address

BFM                Branch on Full Moon

BIH                  Branch If Hung

BOD                Branch On Decadence

BWR               Branch When Ready

DC                   Degauss Core

DKR                Destructive Keyboard Read

DMS                Dump Manual To Shredder     

DPB                 Delete Program Bug

DPC                Decrement Program Counter (usually followed by BIH)

DUSR              Delete User

EMB                Erase Microcode and Branch

MCPU             Melt CPU

MIL                 Move to Illegal Location

MPD                Melt Peripheral Device

MUI                 Move User to Illegal location

OIH                 Orgasm If Hung

OOB                Orgasm On Branch

RAD                Radiate Data

RFE                 Return from Fatal Error

RMC               Rotate MicroCode

RPR                 Reset Programmer

RRS                 Return from Random Subroutine

RSR                 Rotate Status Registers

RWC               Reset World to system Clock

RXF                 Reverse eXecution Flow

SPI                  Skip Previous Instruction

WTR                Write To ROM

WUM              Write to User Memory

LOCIRAJTE SE

Maca i meda
¤        Vi mora da ste iz bivše Jugoslavije (pleonazam, zar ne?) ako… (poglavlje CIV)

5809. When you make jokes based on your own tragedy

5810. At your wedding you know only about a third of the people there.
5811. At your wedding you have a minimum of 350 guests.
5812. At your wedding the first song is always "Danas majka ženi svoga sina".
5813. Your father calls you a "dummy" for not knowing how to do something he can't either.
5814. There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local bar.
5815. Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.
5816. Your dad starts to swear obsessively whenever he watches CNN.
5817. There's at least one relative that your family refuses to talk to.

Dva i po muškarca
5818. When your walls are crowded with icons of saints
5819. Your mother insists that draught will kill you
5820. Your church has a fully loaded bar
5820. You don't talk to your "best men" ("kum")
5821. Your uncle makes his own wine that is stronger than rakija
5822. You think everything is a conspiracy
5823. When your mum calls you "stoka" (cattle)

5824. Rakija is used to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions, as a massage lotion and as a window cleaner.
5825. When your grandma will not accept the fact that you're not hungry

5826. You teach all your American friends serbian/croatian cuss words

5827. Your dad complains that his back hurts!
5828. When you have to reasson your mother that her cooking is the best
5829. Whenever you went by grandma's house, she offered you soup, sarma, grilled meat or cookies and got mad if you didn't eat everything.
5830. When you are told that you'll grow a tail if you drink coffee at a young age
5831. You are freaked out by "Babaroga" (Boogie man)
5832. When your mom has a whole pharmacy in the medicine cabinet.
5833. You think the expression "Don't laugh so much, you will cry" sounds reasonable
5834. When your mom tells you not to drink cold water after you have exercised
5835. When no matter what age you are or how much smarter than your parents you are, they will never listen to what you say "cause you're still their little baby"
5836. Your Dad tells you "when I was your age…"
5837. When your parents call relatives in Yugoslavia they shout to be heard
5838. When on your birthday everyone pulls your ears
5839. When your parents call you "son" no matter if your a boy or a girl.
5840. Your mom gloats about how good Serbian food is but cooks Turkish coffee for all her friends
5841. When you work part time and drive a BMW
5842. When you bang the table and break glasses while singing when you're drunk.
5843. Your dad tells you "this is the third time I am telling you this" and you are afraid to laugh
5844. Ćevapčići on the grill are better than steak any day

5845. Your mother is fond of saying "Thanks God"
5846. A week after slava (family patron saint), Božić (Cristmass), and Uskrs (Easter) you are still eating sarma
5847. You can dance a kolo to anything, including ex-Yu rock
5848. You read this list to your mama and tata and all they have to say in their defense is "It's not true!!!"
5849. If you sit too close to the TV, you'll get cancer.
5850. You tell your friends to rebel when their parents tell them to be home before midnight
5851. When you're mom is running after you to put on a sweter
5852. Your grandma swears more than you do
5853. You bring gifts when you come and take gifts when you leave
5854. You have a doily covering your DVD, VCR, printer, scanner
Uganuce mozga

5855. When you do not announce yourself before visiting a friend and are happy to see him/her at your door in the same manner
5856. When your dad thinks everyone from China has a black belt
5857. Your dad never told you about the birds and the bees (and never had to)
5858. A Serb girl tries to look 23 but she's actually 15.
5859. Even the fat Serb chicks put on the tightest skirt possible
5860. You drive a nicer car than your parents
5861. There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and for cabbage in your garage
5862. You can hear your dad snoring from across the street
5863. You live with your mom and dad until you are married

Lov na pingvine

Friz

=●=

Prethodni brojArxiwaFejsbuk stranicaMarketingGlavna stranicaSledeći broj