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Nedelja, 10. VIII 2014.

Logo Leteći bumbar #537

U ovom broju donosimo:

2. Fešn žiri

            Modni ukus poznatih

4. Špigl - dvojnici poznatih

            Foto-feljton: dvojnici poznatih ličnosti

5. I oni su bili klinci

            Kviz: Pogodite čija je ovo slika iz mladosti?

5. Dumbest patients    Tekst poslao čitaocEngleski jezik

            14 najluđih primera, prema izjavama doktora

8. Saobraćajni znaci (1/2)

            Potpuna slika nekih znakova

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Duksić za bebe

(na slici: duksić za bebe)

FEŠN ŽIRI

            Najsarkastičniji komentari članova žirija u sastavu: pokojna Mileva, Vitni Hjuston i Ejmi Vajnhaus. Slike možete naći u časopisu "Svet" i na njihovom sajtu.

            Ako čitate izdanje časopisa u "Wordu" (stiže mejlom) link za sliku je priložen u imenu poznate osobe.

            Drugo i treće izdanje (elektronska) imaju priložene slike sa sajta. Ako fali jedna slika znači da je obrisana sa sajta "svet.rs", a ako SVE fale onda znači da je eksplodirao njihov server i srušio ceo sajt. Žao nam je zbog toga.

 

 Ana Nikolić

 Milan Stanković

          Na slici: Ana Nikolić

Mileva: Mačka izgleda kao reklama za komarnike.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

          Na slici: Milan Stanković

Mileva: Nema veze. Kad počne da zarađuje od pevanja, imaće i za frizera. Ako me razumete.

Ejmi: Rada je očigledno odnela peglu za kosu.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

Končita Vurst 

Severina 

          Na slici: Končita Vurst

Ejmi: Pa, dok je obrijala ovolike noge otupeo žilet.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

          Na slici: Severina

Ejmi: Dok odpertla sve ovo sa sebe, sin će joj biti punoletan.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

Ceca 

Danijela Vranić 

          Na slici: Ceca

Vitni: Kao kupus salata na sa'rani.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

          Na slici: Danijela Vranić

Mileva: Mačko, nemoj više da kupuješ rukavice na dečjem odelenju. Ako me razumeš.

Vitni: Dobro je... Ona od malopre se obrijala.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

Nikolina i Končita 
Danijela Vranić 2 

          Na slici: Nikolina i Končita

Vitni: Ajde ova sa bradom... ali što ova druga nije obrijala noge???

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

          Na slici: Danijela Vranić

Vitni: Izgleda kao da diluje petarde po osnovnim školama.

Ejmi: A torba – "tlista dinala!"

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

 Ana Kokić

 Lejdi Gaga

          Na slici: Ana Kokić

Vitni: Izgleda kao pehar za dečje prvenstvo u malom fudbalu.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

          Na slici: Lejdi Gaga

Mileva: Kad se bude raščešljala, mačka će verovatno pronaći fen unutra.

Vitni: Bogami, i fen i frizera.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

Seka 

 Anđelina Džoli

          Na slici: Seka

Mileva: Imam sličnu zavesu u letnjoj kujni.

Vitni: Je l' to nestalo struje u Pazovi? Izgleda kao da se u mraku oblačila.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

          Na slici: Anđelina Džoli

Vitni: Ova haljina joj je zgodna za švercovanje dece iz Afrike.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

 Lukas i Ceca

 Maja Gojković

          Na slici: Lukas i Ceca

Vitni: Ko neka staramajka sa svojom unukom pred matursko veče.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

         Na slici: Maja Gojković

Mileva: Mačko, vidim da imaš problema sa dužinom rukava. Dakle, mašinu uključuj samo na 40°C, nije sve za iskuvavanje. Ako me razumeš...

Vitni: Dok ja napišem ovaj komentar do kraja, ova je promenila bar još tri partije.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

 Vladimir Stojković

 Dragana Mirković

          Na slici: Vladimir Stojković

Mileva: Božanstveno! Kao da sam ja štrikala ovu vunenu čarapu! Samo ne razumem zašto ju je navukao na glavu?

Vitni: Pa kad ti je obraz đon, onda i čarapa ide na glavu, zar ne?

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

          Na slici: Dragana Mirković

Mileva: Mačka se uklopila u pozadinu kao u onoj reklami za "Komercijalnu banku"

Vitni: Kakav je ovo kimono?

Ejmi: Pobogu, Vitni, pa ako je iz Kine, ne znači da je to kimono!

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

Bijons 

 Rijana

          Na slici: Bijons

Mileva: Kao potparol nekog Namibijskog plemena.

Vitni: A u frizuru stavila 284 šnale, šporet i frižider. Horor!

Ejmi: Je l' ova bila kod mog frizera?

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

           Na slici: Rijana

Mileva: Pokahontas na džogingu? Ne znam, nisam pametna...

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

 Stefan Koković

 Seve

      Na slici: Stefan Koković

Vitni: Ovo je sa otvaranja neke plaže, pretpostavljam?

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

         Na slici: Severina

Ejmi: Al' se upasala! Ko da ju je baba oblačila za školu!

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

Seka Aleksić 

 Sara Jovanović

          Na slici: Seka Aleksić

Mileva: Mačko, providi ti se majca. Je l' to čelični grudnjak ispod?

Ejmi: Kao kupus salata posle eksplozije nuklearke u Černobilju.

Vitni: Šta je sa obrvama? Je l' ona uvek tako iznenađena?

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

          Na slici: Sara Jovanović

Mileva: Tako je, mačko! Samo svedeno! Za pijacu se i ne treba doterivati.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

 Madona

 Seka 2

           Na slici: Madona

Vitni: Ruke ko španski zid

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

          Na slici: Seka

Vitni: Ova garant i svetli u mraku.

Ejmi: Kao ozračeni kanarinac!

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

Boki 13 

 Ema Votson

           Na slici: Boki 13

Mileva: Mačka izgleda kao plinska boca u nercu.

Vitni: Šta se ovako prestrašio? Da nije ispred ogledala?

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

          Na slici: Ema Votson

Mileva: Mačko, sledeći put ipak upali svetlo dok biraš kombinaciju.

Vitni: Ova će zauvek izgledati kao dete koje oblači mamine stvari dok je mama na pijaci.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

Dara Bubamara 

Zlata Petrović 

          Na slici: Dara Bubamara

Mileva: Mačka da se smiri sa "Fotošopom". Ovakav struk nema ni Oliva.

Vitni: Kao pogrebni papagaj.

Ejmi: Ovoj neko da javi da joj se nešto popelo na glavu i umrlo tamo!

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

           Na slici: Zlata Petrović

Pokojna Mileva: Ja stvarno ne mogu ovo! Pravim se mrtva.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

http://www.svet.rs/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/314.jpg 

 Darko Lazić

          Na slici: Jadranka Barjaktarović (tako piše - prim. ured.)

Mileva: Ne znam ko je ovo, ali se nadam da je poznata bar u svojoj ulici.

Ejmi: Sjajna ilustracija za knjigu "Kako da uložite 1 dinar u sebe"

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

           Na slici: Darko Lazić

Vitni: Ovo je, pretpostavljam, pre porođaja?

Ejmi: Pa... možda ga te naočare otvaraju u struku.

(preuzeto sa: © Svet)

 


Majca

Čarli Braun

I ONI SU BILI KLINCI

Ovo je slika jedne poznate ličnosti. Vaš zadatak je da pogodite o kome se radi. Rešenje je na poslednjoj strani.

Ličnost

ŠPIGL – DVOJNICI POZNATIH

Tre Cool (bubnjar grupe "Green day") Džoni Bravo

TLL

Puzevi

DUMBEST PATIENTS

1.            "I'm never going to have a baby because the hospitals don't wash them anymore". She's 30.

2.            I once had a 20 year old female patient who didn't know that having sex would lead to pregnancy. She had no idea.

3.            After looking at the patients chart and seeing she had diabetes:

- Do you have any medical conditions?

- No

- Are you sure, you never been told you have any diseases?

- Never.

- What medications do you take?

- Insulin... for my diabetes

4.            A middle aged lady in the operating theatre once told us at the last minute (as she was being wheeled in) that she's allergic to latex. Everyone freaks out because so much of the stuff we use in theatre has latex in it, so we take her to the latex free theatre and do her surgery there. When she's in recovery and awake I enquire as to what reaction she has to latex. She said: "I just don't really like the sound the latex gloves make, dear". I just turned around and walked out.

5.         "No, my fiancée and I don't want our daughter to have any of the vaccines, vitamin K shot, antibiotic eye ointment, or PKU testing. It's poison. Poking her with the needle is worse the 'cold' she'd get without the 'poison'."

            He then drove his newborn daughter and fiancée home in a car that absolutely reeked of weed and cigarettes.

6.         20-something year old patient comes to ER, chief complaint on the board is "private". This should be good. Go in, he is visibly depressed and sad. Tells a story about how he slept with a woman, didn't use protection, and after he noticed she had a "plastic box on her". When she told him it was an insulin pump for diabetes, he was mortified. Came in immediately to be tested for diabetes.

Akušer

7.         "I had asthma when I was a child, so stop f*cking patronising me and telling me how to raise my daughter just because you think you're smarter than me". Leaves hospital

            Back in hospital two hours later. Six-year-old daughter in respiratory failure and admitted to ICU.

8.         "Don't eat or drink anything after midnight" before his 3 year old daughter's surgery the next morning (tonsils and adenoids). While intubating his daughter the next morning, she vomited scrambled eggs. Her heart stopped, and I did chest compressions on her for 25 minutes. We got her back, aborted the surgery, and transferred her to pediatric ICU on a ventilator. Her father's response: "She said she was hungry. I thought you were being too hard on her. It must have been something you did to her."

9.         Patient had to be told that the reason her son was getting sick at school every day was because she was packing him peanut butter sandwiches and he was allergic to peanuts. She honestly didn't know that was an ingredient, and he was in middle school and wasn't bright enough to realize it himself.

10.       Had a lady measure her baby's temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby's forehead. She told the nurse her baby's fever was about 250°.

Motika

11.       The best was the woman who was feeding her 3 month old dog every few days for no other reason than she thought a dog should only eat that often. Came in for hypoglycemia (of course).

            The nurse who spoke with her has no patience for this kind of jacked ignorance, and actually shouted at her: "DO YOU EAT EVERY THREE DAYS???"

12.       Once had a patient who was prescribed an inhaler for his cat allergy. He came back a week later saying he was none the better. Turns out he was spraying the inhaler on his cat.

13.       My favourite was when someone was prescribed estrogen patches and told to stick one patch on herself every other day.

            At the next follow-up she said she didn't like the patches because she'd been "running out of space".

          I didn't think to clarify to her that she should have been placing a new patch and removing the one from yesterday each day. Very amusing. She indeed was covered in sticky patches.

14.       Mom brought her kids to the ER after they ate all of their Halloween candy because they had tummy aches. They were still eating "Reese's" peanutbutter cups when they were in the exam room. I had to explain to her that they need to cut back on the candy and she looked at me like I had three heads.

SAOBRAĆAJNI ZNACI (1/2)

Saobracajni znaci

 

Rešenje kviza sa četvrte strane: Dru Barimor

Friz

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