Nedelja, 27. IV 2008.
U
ovom broju donosimo: 2. Marksizam
Citati Gruča Marksa 4.
10×10
Malo enigmatike: pronađite
pogrešnu reč u rečenicama (kolekcija iz starih brojeva
"Politikinog Zabavnika") 6. Ove
nedelje u bioskopu "Ode
on"
Film: "Finding Emo"
Dramatizovana
situacija Čestitka |
● Whatever it is, I'm against
it! ● I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book. ● No, my friends. No, money
will never make you happy, and happy will never make you money. That
might be a
wisecrack, but I doubt it. ● Be free my friends. One for
all and all for me, and me for you, and three for five, and six for a
quarter. ● I bet your father spent the
first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork. ● A black cat crossing your path
signifies that the animal is going somewhere. ● A man's only as old as the
woman he feels. ● Age is not a particularly
interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live
long
enough. ● Before I speak, I have
something important to say. ● Behind every successful man
is a woman, behind her is his wife. ● From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. ● I intend to live forever,
or die trying. |
● I've had a perfectly wonderful
evening. But this wasn't it.
● Marriage is a wonderful
institution ... but who wants to live in an institution?
● Marriage is the chief cause
of divorce.
● Military intelligence is a
contradiction in terms.
● Military justice is to
justice what military music is to music.
● My favourite poem is the
one that starts "Thirty days had September" because it actually
tells you something.
● Politics is the art of
looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly,
and
applying the wrong remedies.
● Time wounds all heels.
● We should pull out. Which
is what Nixon's father should have done.
● Why should I care about
posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
● When I invite a woman to
dinner I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay!
● I sent the club a wire
stating: "Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any
club
that will accept people like me as a member".
● I never forget a face, but
in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
● Die, my dear? Why that's
the last thing I'll do!
● Here's to our wives and
girlfriends... may they never meet!
● I cannot say that I do not
disagree with you.
● I drink to make other
people interesting.
● Now,
there's a man with an
open mind. You can feel the breeze from here. ● Quote me as saying I was
mis-quoted. ● If I held you any closer I'd be in back of you. ● We'll
put free
sheets on all the beds, there'll be no cover charge. ● Hello,
Cocoanut
Arms. Yes, we have a dining room. If it's fish, we have it. If it's
meat, we
have it. If it's fowl, we've had it too long. ● Ice
water? Eat
an onion that'll make your eyes water! ●
I've worked my way up from nothing to a
state of extreme poverty. ● As soon
as I
get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce — and so
will my
wife. ● Love
flies out
the door when money comes innuendo. ● I married your mother because I wanted
children. Imagine my disappointment when you
arrived. ● Well I
thought
my razor was dull until I heard his speech. |
●
Baravelli,
you've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad
to get
rid of it.
● Why,
I'd
horse-whip you if I had a horse.
● Hey,
don't
drink that poison! That's $4.00 an ounce!
●
Chico: One dollar
and you'll remember me all your
life.
Groucho: That's the most nauseating proposition I ever
had.
● Send
some
roses to Mrs Upjohn and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the
bill.
● A moose is an animal with horns on the
front of his head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it.
● Anyone
who
says he can see through women is missing a lot.
● Because
we
were a kid act, we traveled at half-fare, despite the fact that we were
all
around twenty. Minnie insisted we were thirteen. "That kid of yours is
in
the dining car smoking a cigar," the conductor told her. "And another
one is in the washroom shaving." Minnie shook her head sadly. "They
grow so fast."
● Blood's not thicker than money. ● Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery? ●
Eventually I smoked Havanas. A cigar makers' organization once said
that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I don't know if
that's true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory.
There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw
me, they all stood up and applauded. ●
Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has
believed the worst about Hollywood. ● I
chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were
exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls. ● I
didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions — the
curtain was up. ● I
have nothing but respect for you, and not much of that. ● I
intend to live forever, or die trying. ● I
made a killing on Wall Steet a few years ago...I shot my broker. ● I
remember the first time I had sex — I kept the receipt. ● I
was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. ● I
wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent,
as written in our contract. |
|
● I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
● If
women
dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun
visor.
● If you
fall
out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me.
● If you
want to
see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
● If
you've
heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it
again.
● In
America you
can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go
on the
air and kid the people.
● It
isn't
necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
● It
looks as if
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
● It's
nice to
have met you, and I've got nobody to blame but myself.
●
Marriage is a
wonderful institution ... but who wants to live in an institution?
● Marry
me and
I'll never look at another horse!
● My
mother
loved children. She would have given anything if I had been one.
● My
mother
treated us all equally... with contempt. ●
My son is half-Jewish. Can he wade in
up to his knees? (when told that a swimming pool was off-limits to Jews) ● No-one
is
completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. ● Oh, are
you
from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah? He used to live in whales
for a
while. ● Only
one man
in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women. ● Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. ● Paying
alimony
is like feeding hay to a dead horse. ● Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. ● Q: What
do you
get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? ● Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. ● Room
service?
Send up a larger room. ● She got
her
looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. ● A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. ● The
husband
who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his
checkbook open. ● The
only game
I like to play is Old Maid — provided she's not too old. ● The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you've got it made. ● That
kid's so
smart, he could be the fifth Marx Brother. |
● There
is only
one way to find out if a man is honest...ask him. If he says 'yes', you
know he
is crooked.
● There's
one
thing I always wanted to do before I quit... retire!
● I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.
RAK:
- Šta mu bi?
BLIZANCI:
- Opa, zaglavljeni smo!
LAV:
- Ma hajde, komšija, šta to pričate! Slučajno je stao.
DEVICA:
- Jaoj, gde baš sada!
OVAN:
- Da vidimo šta je (pritiska dugmiće).
ŠKORPIJA:
- Hej, komšija, nemojte tako jako!
OVAN:
- Ma nemojte! Mislite da je bolje da sedimo i čekamo?
VAGA:
- Komšija, smirite se! Nije vreme za svađu!
DEVICA:
- A to što smo zaglavljeni - nikom ništa. Znate li koji posao mene
čeka?
JARAC:
- Svi imamo neke obaveze, ali umesto što stvaramo paniku, hajde da
uradimo ono što treba!
VODOLIJA:
- Tako je. Mora da postoji dežurni majstor. Komšija, pritisnite
crveno dugme, molim.
BLIZANCI: - Naravno. Ne
reaguje. Opa,
biće veselo! RIBE: - Vidi ti njega! Njemu je čak i zabavno! STRELAC:
- Što da ne? Nećemo valjda da kukamo? VODOLIJA:
- Taj sam, ali još ne mogu da vidim šta je najbolje uraditi. BIK:
- Ne bih da se šalim sa tim. To je lift, a mi smo sto
metara iznad zemlje. OVAN:
- Ma nemojte! Mislite da ću celu noć sedeti ovde? Ako
neće milom, onda će silom (počinje da šutira vrata). VAGA: - Komšija, smirite se! To ne smete da radite, to je opasno! ŠKORPIJA:
- Ma pustite ga! Vidite da mu fali neka daska uglavi. OVAN:
- Slušaj ti, bitango jedna! Ako želiš da razgovaraš sa mnom, treba da
se ponašaš kao prema pametnijem od sebe. |
LAV: - Gospodo,
ne dozvoljavam ovakvo ponašanje! Ja
preuzimam stvar u svoje ruke i želim da me dobro saslušate. Prvo,
smirite se!
RAK:
- Kako da se smirimo? Evo, već pola sata stojimo ovde
bespomoćni.
DEVICA:
- Tako je! Uopšte nismo svesni toga šta sve može da nam se desi.
ŠKORPIJA:
- Vi radite šta hoćete, ali ja više ne mogu da izdržim. Moram da
zapalim cigaretu.
RAK:
- Jaoj, nemojte samo to! Ugušićemo se čoveče!
DEVICA:
- Potražite otvor za ventilaciju, ovde više ne može da se diše!
OVAN: - Ma dajte da probam
još jednom!
SVI SEM STRELCA: - Ne!
STRELAC:
- Slažem se sa komšijom Ovnom. Ako šutiranjem odvalimo vrata lifta,
možemo da se spustimo sprat niže i da izađemo iz lifta.
JARAC:
- Nemojte, komšija! To ne dolazi u obzir.
RIBE: - Tako je! Ko zna šta bi sve moglo da nam se desi dok se spuštamo. Neko bi mogao da ispadne iz lifta. VAGA:
- Komšija, šta vi mislite o ovome? BIK:
- Mene pitate? VAGA: - Da. Vidim da stojite mrtvi hladni. BIK:
- Mene ništa ne pitajte. Sada je vreme ručku (vadi
sendvič). Kad se najedem, onda ću da razmiljam o liftu. LAV:
- Nemoguće! Baš sada ste gladni? BIK:
- Kada sam gladan, ja sam nervozan, a onda i ne razmišljam o teškim
stvarima. RAK:
- Vi niste normalni! JARAC:
- Komšija, pošto ste sredili sendvič, a rekoste da imate
rešenje, da čujem. BIK: - Rešenje je jednostavno, čekaćemo dok ne stigne struja. (Lift počinje da se trese.) RAK,
DEVICA I RIBE: - Jaoj, šta je ovo? |
BLIZANCI I STRELAC: - Počinje prava zabava!
VODOLIJA:
- Našim mukama je došao kraj - stigla je struja.
STRELAC: - Sada ćemo da izađemo iz lifta i idemo kod mene na kafu. Ovo mora da se proslavi.
ХРИСТОС
ВОСКРЕСЕ!
ВОИСТИНУ
ВОСКРЕСЕ!
Rešenja
"10×10" 371. bezšumnu; 372. prva; 373. kredite; 374.
tvorcima; 375. čitaju;
376. modri; 377. ratarska; 378. ključ; 379. travu; 380. glasa.