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Nedelja, 2. XI 2008.
U
ovom broju donosimo:
Prepisano iz "Far
Eastern Economic Review", 28. 9. 1989.
Lista skoro svih skraćenica sa
chata!
Smeh i kraj feljtona. 6. Pojmovi
Nove definicije nekih pojmova
Rubrika u "Politikinom
zabavniku" tokom 1968. 7. Širom neta
Izveštaj sa izbora za miss
POGUBLjENI U
PREVODU
●
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The
lift
is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you
will be
unbearable.
●
In
a Leipzig elevator:
Do
not
enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
●
In
a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To
move
the cabin, push the button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter
more
persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is
then going
alphabetically by national order.
●
In a Paris hotel
elevator: Please
leave your valuables at the front desk. ●
In
a hotel in Athens: Visitors
are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily. ●
In
a Yugoslav hotel: ●
In
a Japanese hotel: You
are
invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. ●
In
the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery: |  |
●
In
an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not
to
perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of
ascension.
●
On
the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our
wines
leave you nothing to hope for.
●
On
the menu of the Polish hotel:
Salad
a
firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form
of
finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country
people's
fashion.
●
In
a Hongkong supermarket:
For
your
convenience, we recomend courteous, efficient self-service.
●
In
a Bankok dry cleaner:
Drop
your
trouses here for best results.
●
Outside
Paris dress shop:
Dresses
for street walking.
●
Outside
a Hongkong dress shop:
Ladies
have fits upstairs.
●
In
a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in a strict rotation.
●
From
the Soviet Weekly:
 |
●
In an East African
newspaper: A
new
swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractor have thrown
in the
bulk of their workers. ●
In
a Vienna hotel: ●
A
sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: ●
In
a Zurich hotel: |
the opposite sex in the
bedroom, it
is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
●
In
an advertisment by a Hongkong dentist:
Teeth
extracted by the latest Methodist.
●
A
translated sentence from the Russian chess book:
A
lot of
water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been
played.
●
In
a Rome laundry:
Ladies,
leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
●
In
a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take
one
of our horse driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
●
Advertisment
for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would
you
like to ride on your own ass?
●
On
the faucet in a Finnish washroom:
To
stop
the drip, turn cock to right.
●
In
the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur
coats
made for ladies from their own skin.
●
In a Tokyo shop:
Our
nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long
run.
●
From a Japanese information
booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
●
From
a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When
passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle to him. Trumpet him
melodiously at
first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with
vigor.
●
Two
signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
-
English
well talking.
- Here speeching American.
ENCIKLOPEDIJA CHATAKLIJA
ROFL
rolling
on floor laughing
ROFLMAO
rolling
on floor laughing my ass off
ROTFL
rolling
on the floor laughing
ROTF
rolling
on the floor
ROTFFLMAO
rolling on the fucking floor laughing
my ass off
ROTFFLMAO
rolling
on the fucking floor laughing my ass off
ROTFFNAR
rolling
on the floor for no apparent reason
ROTFG
rolling
on the floor groaning
ROTFHMBTNTWMS
rolling on the floor holding my belly
trying not to wet my self
 | ROTFL
ran
out to find lunch ROTFL
rave
on, tofu-flinging leeches! ROTFL
rolling
on the floor laughing ROTFLAHMS rolling
on the floor laughing and holding my side ROTFLAHMSATTCMB
rolling
on the floor, laughing, and holding my stomache and trying to catch my
breath! ROTFLAPUL rolling on the floor laughing and picking up lint (also pet hair, cookie crumbs, dings from sharp furniture, whatever). |
ROTFLASTC
rolling
on the floor laughing and scaring the cat
ROTFLASTHOOMD
rolling
on the floor laughing and scaring the hell out of my dog
ROTFLASTHOOMEKs
rolling
on the floor, laughing, and scaring the heck out of my echo kittens
ROTFLGO
rolling
on the floor laughing guts out
ROTFLMAAOBPO
rolling
on the floor laughing my ascii and other body parts off
ROTFLMAO
rolling
on the floor laughing my ASCII off
ROTFLMAO-PMP2
rolling
on the floor laughing my ass off pissed my pants too!
ROTFLMAOWMP
rolling
on the floor laughing my ass off wet my pants!
ROTFLMHO
rolling
on the floor laughing my head off
ROTFLMHOAMOVHOJ
rolling
on the floor laughing my head off at my own very hilarious old joke.
ROTFLOL
rolling
on the floor laughing out loud
ROTFLOLVH
rolling
on the floor laughing out loud very hard
ROTFLSHICSU
rolling
on the floor laughing so hard I can't sit up
ROTFLSHISMP
rolling
on the floor laughing so hard I shit my pants!
ROTFLSHIWMP
rolling on the floor,
laughing so hard I wet my pants!
ROTFLSHMSH
rolling
on the floor laughing so hard my sides hurt ROTFLSHTISMP
rolling
on the floor laughing so hard that I shit my pants! ROTFLSHTIWMP
rolling
on the floor laughing so hard that I wet my pants! ROTFLSHTIWMP
rolling
on the floor laughing so hard that it's working my pancreas. ROTFLTIPND
rolling
on the floor laughing, thought I pretty near died ROTFTTPOF
rolling
on the floor trying to put out flames POJMOVI
●
Alkoholno
piće
- napitak koji čini žene poželjnima
(ako
ih konzumira
muškarac). ● Brak - zajednica u kojoj dvoje ljudi riješavaju probleme koje ne bi imali da su ostali sami ● Budilica - instrument izmišljen da bi budio one koji nemaju malu djecu |  |
● Ekonomist - ekspert koji će znati sutra
zašto se ono
što je predvidio jučer nije dogodilo danas
● Ginekolog - osoba koja radi tamo gdje se
drugi zabavljaju
● Intelektualac - osoba koja je u stanju misliti
dva sata na
drugo osim na seks
● Migrena - najviše upotrebljavana
kontracepcija kod žena
● Pesimist - dobro obaviješteni optimist
● Ples - vertikalna frustracija
horizontalne želje
● Programer - osoba koja na neobjašnjiv način
riješi
problem za koji nisi ni znao da ga imaš
● Psiholog - osoba koja gleda ostale kad u
prostoriju
uđe lijepa žena
● Pulover - odjevni predmet koje mora
nositi dijete kad je
mami zima
● Zubar - mađioničar koji vam stavlja u
usta
dio onoga što vam je izvukao iz džepa
● Zvijezda - osoba koja cijeli život teško radi da bi bila poznata, a zatim nosi velike tamne naočale da ju nitko ne prepozna.
MRVICE SA
ŠKOLSKE TRPEZE
|
Na času fizike nastavnica je rekla učeniku da joj
kaže nešto o toploti. "Pa, toplina izdužuje stvari, a hladnoća ih
skuplja". - Tako je – kaže nastavnica. Reci nam koji primer.
Leti su dani duži, zato jer jer toplije, a zimi su
kraći zato što je hladnije. ● ●
●
Učitelj: - Ako uzmem ovaj paradajz i podelim ga na dva
dela, zatim na četiri parčeta i ta četiri dela prepolovim, šta ću
dobiti? - Paradajz salatu! ● ●
●
Nastavnik fizike pita kada je predavao pretposlednju
lekciju. Neko iz zadnje klupe dobaci: "Sutra". |
|
Nastavnik se nije zbunio, već se šeretski nasmeja i reče: "Meni se čini da sam ja predavao prekosutra"
● ●
●
Vreme
odmiče, a mala Marijana nikako da izađe iz svoje sobe. Nestrpljiva
majka je opominje: -
Zakasnićeš
u školu! Jesi li skoro gotova? -
Jesam, mama. -
Obula si
cipele? -
Da. Sve sem
jedne. ● ●
●
Na času matematike nastavnica
predaje novo gradivo i kada je završila uze jedan primer i upita: -
Ima li ovde
članova koji mogu da se skrate? -
Ima! – odgovori
dečak iz druge klupe |  |
- Pera i Joca –
odgovori dečak pokazujući na dvojicu čupavaca. [#843/1968]
JAPANSKI REČNIK
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