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Nedelja, 23. V 2010.

U ovom broju donosimo: 2. FB fail! Smejurije sa Facebook-a 4. Špigl - dvojnici poznatih Foto-feljton: dvojnici poznatih ličnosti. 6. Osobne gaće Važi i za osobnu iskaznicu i za ličnu kartu, kao i za pokaznu u gradskom prevozu 7. Smak sveta Zašto su nam bitni smakovi sveta 7. Locirajte se! Vi mora da ste iz… ako je većina ovih tvrdnji tačna (Ilinois, Islamabad; 1654-1680)

Sačuvajte ovaj broj! Možete od njega da napravite: - molersku kapu - brodić - avion koji leti (!) … Urednicima ostalih časopisa: Budite fer i ostavite link za ovaj časopis kad već uzimate materijal odavde!

FB FAIL!

ošto se svakog dana gomilaju raznorazne odvale sa društvene mreže "Facebook", na sajtu  http://failbook.com/ su počele da se pojavljuju slike sa istim.

Predstavljamo vam najbolje odvale, a njih ima jako puno pa je lakše da ih postavimo u tekstualnom obliku. Imena i slike profila su tamo zamaskirane, pa ćemo učesnike u komentarima predstavljati brojevima: (1), (2), (3) itd. Napomene će biti crvenom bojom.

Status: Add me... Please more friend requests!

(2): The only people who can see this are people who are already your friend

(1): O damn it...

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Status: Wayne just watched a vicious mob of spuirels attack another squirel. i have never in my life heard the death cry of a squurel...

(2): squirrel lol

(3): you spelled squirrel 3 different times... and none of em were right. Wayne, you fail.

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Status: (1) is wishing her sweet, sweet nephew Sammy a Happy sth Birthday! Love you Sam, wish I could be in Hawai‘i to celebrate with you!

(2): I can't believe he's turning S already, seems like just yesterday he was J.

(3): The Sth birthday is the best. Only R more years until he's P. (2): I feel like I'm in algerbra again. (2): Name a number, any number... Threve. (3): eleventeen (1): I hate both of you. [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Jeeze. ppl shouldn't cyber bully online! (2): Cyber bullying offline would be difficult [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Komentar: OMG! you all fail, it's called time zones. it might be april 23rd where you live and June 6th somewhere else and you all comment the same day. Geez! [ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: Ah yes. Mosquito season is here. That's it, suck my blood, yup suck it all up. Doc says I have high cholesterol and I hope you stroke, you 8 legged, pointed nose furry bastards.

(2): I can't even begin to imagine what in your blod would have caused those mosquitos to have 8 legs

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Naslov fan-grupe: J.I.M.S Jesus Is My Saviour

Status fan-grupe: I'm watching 27/7

that's 24 days a week

7 months a year

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: (1) is missing April :( (bivša devojka, a datum je 31. Mart) (2): don't worry man, it's tomorrow [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Hi Honey! Are you going to try and come up to Baker City on July 17th? I will be celebrating my 80th birthday. I would like to see you while I'm still alive. You can skip my funeral!!! [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: u What a night... there's a first time for everything (2): Anal? (3): With a guy (2): On a rooftop (4): No rubber (5): With a videocamera (6): No lube [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Same shit different day (2): That's called constipation [ f ] [ f ] [ f ]

Status: I feel like wasting money... any ideas?

(2): Buy some crack

(3): Help pay for me to fix my car!

(4): Hookers

(5): Ship a bunch of boxes full of those packaging peanuts to random addresses in the phonebook

(6): Buy alot of groceries, get a bunch of dro, buy the new faceless CD?

(1): These are some of the worst suggestions I've ever heard.

(4): Okay. Buy a gun and kill yourself [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Just got home from Phil's huge party. Dad and Matt didn't notice I was gone. BOOYAH (2): Oh, f*ck yeah. That thing owned. I snorted like three lines in a minute (1): Sweeet! I only got like 2½ :PP (3): Glad you liked the party, Jeff... But don't you have your brother added on here??? (4) (Matt, stariji brat): Yeah Jeff. Don't you have me on here? Also dad says you're grounded until summer [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz (2): Wow! Some one knows there numbers! (1): Um... letters

ŠPIGL – DVOJNICI POZNATIH Jadranka Kosor → Gradonačelnica South Park-a, McDaniels

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Status: Strange, how I can't even remember the last time you said something positive to me?

(2): Proton

(1): What?

(3): ♥ for u

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: What a horrible day! I don't think could get any worse!! (2): A meteor could land on your house. That's probably worse. (3): And then a velociraptor could fly through the newly made hole in your roof. (4): And then it could eat all the food in your fridge. (5): And then poop in your yard. [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Jenn is so excited to find out tomorrow if she'll be an aunt or an uncle! Kristin: Bahahahaha Debbie: ???? Jenn: See if Ben and Sal have a boy or girl... [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: two words: Second Semester Senior. (2): Senioritis must be hitting hard, cause that's 3 words [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Some people say I have a sort of swagger... heh heh in Texas we call that "walking"! (2): Yeah. Well in Canada we call that "hemmorrhoids", Mikey-boy. [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: I'm so glad that the "Lakers" won the superbowl (2): What? They weren't playing...

(3): The "Lakers" are also a basketball team.

(2): I think maybe u meant this to be a joke...

(1): Oh, wait. I meant the Yankees, right?

(4): They win everything dawg :P

(5): Yeah, dude. Their final home-run was awesome!

(1): Did you see that hole-in-one that Brad Pitt made in the last inning?

(4): Or at the end, when Jeff Gordon caught the snitch?

(1): That was awesome, but my favourite part of the whole game was when Maria Sharapova made that touchdown on 3rd base. Or when Phil Mickelson did that kickflip into the goal.

(6): I don't know. Tyra Bank's uppercut in the second period realy put an ent to Libya's defence's attempts to prevent the baton from being passed. (5): It was brutal seeing Babe Ruth getting checked into the side board by their quarterback, Andy Roddick. But all in all it was great game, too bad the winners have to be sacrificed to their Mayan Gods. (1): Well, I think the real gamebreaker for the "Lakers" was Hulk Hogan's triple pirouette and front flip on the balance bar during the performance round. But yeah, I agree, it was a great game. [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: I'm listening to a good song (2): Me too. d^_^b (1): How did you get a backwards B? (2): ... [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] (1): SocialInterview.com asked me: "Who is someone you know who is likely to burn your house down?". I answered: "(2)" (2): Next person to post something from socialinterview.com gets their house burned down. [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: I'm board (2): I'm calk. We should get together.

(1): BOARD! Like I don't have anything to do, not BORD, like a chalkbord. Learn to spellcheck.

(2): Oh, God, I hope you don't breed.

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Status: Just finished eating a raw chicken breast, no sweat. Looks like somebody owes me $20.

(2): You're gonna die, dude. Salmonella for sure.

(1): I ate chicken, not salmon, dude.

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(1) and (2) joined the group "Join this if you want the police to yell "PIKACHUUUUUU" before tasing.

[ f ] [ f ] [ f ] (1): BTW... watch out. Grandpa Bob got hizzself a brand new netbook and is trying to figure out how to get online... (2): Noooooooo! What happened to the type-writer? [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: (1) left the group "I have never had sex with a goat" [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Sa "Yahoo answers": (1): How should I upload something to "Failbook"? (2): All you do is call up the PC or Mac screenshot fairy! Their numbers are the same as the leprechaun that lives at the end of your rainbow. They are very busy, as lots of dumb people post on Facebook, Twitter and Yahoo answers [ f ] [ f ] [ f ] Status: Why are people scared of 2012? I'm not scared. In fact, on December 21st 2012, I will go outside naked and say "BRING IT ON!!!!" (2): That's why I'm scared of 2012...

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Status: (1) is pretty sick of this sh*t. For real

(2): Ok, fine. I'll stop sending you naked pictures of myself.

(3): And I'll resume sending them of me.

GAĆE

krenite posljednju stranicu osobne iskaznice. Pročitajte tekst na korici čitajući "gaće" umjesto "osobna  iskaznica":

- Pravo je i dužnost svakog građanina starijeg od 18 godina da ima gaće.
- Osoba može imati samo jedne gaće.
- Imalac gaća je dužan gaće nositi na sebi i da ih pokaže na zahtjev službene osobe ovlaštene za legitimiranje
- Zabranjeno je davati gaće drugom na uporabu, poslužiti se tuđim gaćama kao svojim, ili ih zloupotrijebiti na bilo koji drugi način.
- Osoba čije se lice toliko izmijeni da ne odgovara fotografiji na gaćama ili kod koga nastanu promjene u ličnom imenu dužna je u roku od 15 dana od nastale promjene podnesti zahtijev za zamjenu gaća.
- Osoba koja gaće izgubi ili na drugi način ostane bez njih dužna je to odmah, a najkasnije u roku od 15 dana, prijaviti organu unutrašnjih poslova i zatražiti izdavanje novih gaća.
(p.s. bilo pa prošlo)

SMAK SVETA 21. XII 2012.

Obrazloženje za postupke usled ostvarivanja "poslednje želje":

Alkoholičaru: Otvoriti ono bure sa dedinom rakijom iz 76-te
Pušaču: Podići kredit i kupiti karton najskupljih cigareta
Tinejdžeru: Povaliti sve devojčice iz kraja
Tinejdžerkama:             Poljubiti Slavka (fudbalerčića iz kraja)
Babama: Presedeti u Domu zdravlja barem 3 dana
Dedama: Probati vijagru, pa kud puklo da puklo
Lopovima: (dugačak spisak)
Prijateljicama noći: Doživeti pravi orgazam
Konobarima: "Klepiti po ušima" gazdu i je*ati gazdaricu
Pevačicama: Reći Saši Popoviću da im se nije svideo seks
Vozačima GSP: Izpičarati ceo autobus, išutirati sve penzionere
Murbiju*: Ubosti definiciju dana. 

(*-član na "Vukajliji" odakle je uzet ovaj tekst")

LOCIRAJTE SE

¤ Vi mora da ste iz Ilinoisa ako… (USA, poglavlje XXXII) 1654. If you are a male - you wear basketball shorts under anything and everything. Also, you have a pair of sneakers in your car at all times. 1655. People still have Christmas decorations up at Easter. 1656. You start saying to yourself: "More than corn in Indiana my butt". 1657. Anyone with a cell phone looks out of place. 1658. Walking through Wal-Mart with two carts full of kids is normal. 1659. Anyone with a tan is rich.

1660. The hip hang-out place is McDonald's.
1661. There really is more than corn in Indiana. There's soybeans, too.
1662. When you plan an orgy and a Euchre game breaks out.
1663. A restaurant has an invisible wall in the non-smoking section and you believe it works.

¤ Vi mora da ste iz Islamabada ako… (PK, poglavlje XXXIII)

1664. You go everywhere for a vacation but you'd still rather stay in Islamabad 1665. You think you're better than everyone else in the country because you're cleaner 1666. You think that going from f-6 to f-11 is really far because it takes 20 mins 1667. You think that its really far yet you make the journey as many times as needed everyday 1668. Traffic jams rarely mean something to you 1669. You know that Rawalpindi and Islamabad are not the same city… Or even vaguely related 1670. Your main gate is never closed and your main door is rarely locked 1671. You look at Margalla hills and know that you arent lost 1672. You forget how clean or green your city is until someone from Lahore or Karachi comes and points it out 1673. You meet a random stranger and you find common friends within 5 minutes 1674. The guys at shaheen, shams, united bakery, mc donalds and other random stores know you by face 1675. You've been to all the restaurants in Islamabad and know most of their menus by heart especially "Papasallis" where you decide what you want to eat before you actually get there

1676. You go to Pir Sohawa all the time and you never get bored
1677. You get all your shampoos or cosmetics from "Shaheen", "Moens" or "D. Watson"
1678. You jumped up and down the day Pizza hut/KFC/McDonalds opened in your city
1679. You used to go to marriot more than once a month for no apparent reason
1680. You have Islamabad club membership and die of shock when you find someone who doesn't

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