Prethodni brojArxiwaFejsbuk stranicaMarketingGlavna stranicaSledeći broj


EN712 - Nedelja, 4. II 2018./7525.

Logo Leteći bumbar No.712

U ovom broju donosimo:

2. Statler and Waldorf (2/3)            Engleski jezik

            Dijalozi ona dva matorca iz "Mapeta"

4. Špigl – dvojnici poznatih

            Foto-feljton: Dvojnici poznatih

8. Sâm svoj nadrimajstor

            Male kućne majstorije (ili skarabudži)

8. T-cоm

            Pismo nezadovoljnog korisnika

Urednicima ostalih časopisa: Budite fer i ostavite link za ovaj časopis kad već uzimate materijal odavde!

Pažnja! Stavite miša iznad ѕlike da bi dobili prevod ili objašnjenje istih!

Bata Živojinović sa fanovima


(nastavak iz broja №711)

Waldorf: You know, the second half of this show reminds me of Aspen.

Statler: Why Aspen?

Waldorf: Cause it's all downhill from here!

            ● ● ●

Fozzie: Hey, guys! You want to see my new act?

Statler: We'd love to see your act.

Waldorf: In fact, we'd hate to miss your act.

Statler: In fact, we'd love to hate your act.

            ● ● ●

Fozzie: How did you get here?

Waldorf: We entered a contest.

Statler: Yeah! We lost!

            ● ● ●

            From The Muppet Show with Dudley Moore (after "She Loves You"):

Waldorf: Seeing a number like that always makes me nostalgic.

Statler: Oh, yeah? Nostalgic for what?

Waldorf: D.D.T.

            ● ● ●

Statler: So, they blew up half the theater.

Waldorf: Well, at least they blew up the right half.


            ● ● ●

            From The Muppet Show with Joel Grey (after "Wilkommen"):

Ben Frenklin

Waldorf: Another star in the tradition of the late great Boris Klinger.

Statler: Boris Klinger? Why, you old fool! Boris Klinger was the worst music hall act to ever step onto the stage!

Waldorf: In your opinion maybe, but more than 2.000 people attended his final performance.

Statler: Yes, yes. Half of them brought the tar and the rest brought the feathers!

            ● ● ●

            From The Muppet Show with Bob Hope (during closing theme):

Waldorf: Doesn't Bob Hope usually sing "Thanks for the Memories"?

Statler: Why would he want to remember this?

            ● ● ●

Statler: I went snowboarding yesterday!

Waldorf: That's nothing! I cut fiber out of my diet!

Statler: GOOD GRIEF! You're a mad man!

Waldorf: That's right! Eat my dust!

Statler: If you were any older, you'd be dust!

            ● ● ●

            Gonzo asks for volunteer to be hypnotized into lifting 2500kg weight:

Gonzo: It's just a question of mind over matter.

Waldorf: That's right, you don't mind and we don't matter.

            ● ● ●


Statler: Does this show constitute as cruelty to animals

Waldorf: Not unless they're watching it.

            ● ● ●

Statler: They don't write the old songs anymore.

Waldorf: Nope, they just write new ones

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Wake me when the show starts

Statler: It's already been on a while.

Waldorf: Oh, wake me when it's over.

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: I love French singing.

Statler: I love French Fries.

Waldorf: French Fries? I don't get it.

Statler: Well you didn't order any.

            ● ● ●

            Gonzo doing his motorcycle act:

Gonzo: I can assure you, you'll be in no danger.

Statler: Your right.

Waldorf: We'll be in Chicago.

            ● ● ●

            Gonzo attempts the motorcycle act again:

Statler: We're not afraid, we know Gonzo.

Waldorf: If at first you don't succeed - fail again.

            ● ● ●

            During the closing, theme S & W are in prison clothes, with iron bars surrounding them:

Statler: How long are we in for?

Waldorf: 20 years.

Statler: If I had known the judge was giving us the box, I'd have asked for the chair!

            ● ● ●

Statler: What's that noise?

Waldorf: I think that's Lewis Carroll turning over in his grave.

            ● ● ●

            From the Florence Henderson episode:

Fozzie: Now, tonight, I'm gonna try and put something new in my act.

Statler: Yeah, like comedy, maybe.

            ● ● ●

Statler: Do they sell insurance for this show?

            ● ● ●

Whatnot: Are these seats taken?

Statler and Waldorf: No! Take 'em!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Let's put this show out of its misery. (He and Statler then take out pistols and fire them at the stage.)

            ● ● ●

Statler: What?! You're a crook!

Waldorf: Oh, yeah? You're a bum!

Statler: Well, you're an old fool!

Waldorf: (gasps)

Statler: Of course, I mean that with the upmost respect.

Waldorf: That's how I took it, which is why I called you a bum with a great deal of affection.

Statler: Thank you, old friend. By the way, very nice tie - I like it.

Waldorf: You oughta like it. I borrowed it from you 30 years ago.

Statler: What?! You're a crook!

Waldorf: Oh, yeah? You're a bum!

Statler: Well, you're an old fool!


Snuki (serija "Obala Džerzija") → Lutka "Cabbage patch"

            ● ● ●

            During the closing theme a cow is in the box with S & W:

Cow: Moo!

Statler: No! "Boo"!

Cow: Boo!

Statler: Hooray!

Cow: Hooray!

            ● ● ●

            From "Kermit's Swamp Years":

Waldorf: It sure was nice of the frog to let us be in this movie.

Statler: So people could see how young we look?

Waldorf: No, so we wouldn't have to watch it!

            ● ● ●

            From "MuppetToons: Net Congestion":

Fozzie: That's not fair! I can't even see you guys!

Statler: Of course not!

Waldorf: We're on streaming audio!

Statler: And you're a streaming idiot!

            ● ● ●

Statler: That number was out of sight!

Waldorf: You mean you liked it?

Statler: No, it was "out of sight" - I had my eyes closed.

            ● ● ●

            From The Muppet Show with Lena Horne (after "I've Got a Name):

Waldorf: I could listen to her sing till the end of time.

Statler: She doesn't sing that. It's not her style.

Waldorf: No, no, I mean I could listen to her sing forever.

Statler: Well, she doesn't sing that either.

Waldorf: Why don't you just check yourself into the old fools' home while they still have a bed left?!

Muzika 1994

            ● ● ●

            During the Richard Bradshaw shadow puppet act:

Statler: More! More!

Waldorf: Hey, look. There IS more.

Statler: Oh, good grief. They heard me!

            ● ● ●

Statler: Hey, Waldorf, I was wondering if you could...(stops talking and mouths the rest of his words)

Waldorf: Darn, I'd better get some new batteries for my hearing aid.

Statler: (laughs) I fool him every time! (laughs some more and gets hit by Waldorf)

            ● ● ●

Statler: Well, that was a great number. I've always liked pantomime.

Waldorf: That wasn't pantomime! Your hearing aid's busted again.

            ● ● ●
Waldorf: Gonzo should quit while he's ahead

Statler: Gonzo should quit while he's alive!

            ● ● ●

Statler: Private screening?

Waldorf: Yeah they're afraid to show it in public.

            ● ● ●

Statler: I was on the "Titanic"

Waldorf: I know you still have the dress you wore so they'd let you in the life boat!

            ● ● ●

Statler: I was a student of Shakespeare.

Waldorf: You were a student WITH Shakespeare!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Now why would they have a bunch of chickens singing "Baby face"?

Statler: Because the alligators were sick.

Waldorf: That makes sense.

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Each week, we'll be telling you what to see and what to avoid.

Statler: Avoid Paris Hilton!

Waldorf: I stayed there once.

Statler: Who hasn't?

            ● ● ●

            After hearing "You have nothing to worry about" in the "War of the Worlds" trailer:

Statler: Uh-oh! When someone says that, start worrying.

            ● ● ●

            After previewing "Bewitched":

Statler: Obviously, "Bewitched" is pure fantasy.

Waldorf: Why? Because witches don't exist?

Statler: No! Because a guy like Will Ferrell could NEVER get a woman like Nicole Kidman!

            ● ● ●

Statler: That Johnny Depp is everywhere! What's he got that I haven't, besides youth, good looks, virility, fame, wealth...

Waldorf: ...functioning kidney, gallbladder, hip...

Statler: Alright! Alright! Alright!

            ● ● ●

            After previewing "Stealth":

Statler: In "Stealth", Jamie Fox does what many academy award-winning have done with their follow-up films.

Waldorf: You mean, he stretches further as an actor?

Statler: No, he cashes in!

(They laugh.)

Statler: I even heard Jamie Fox almost walked off the set.

Waldorf: Why?

Statler: He was mad that the plane had a bigger hanger.

(They laugh)

Bono Voks

Waldorf: Wait. If this plane was really super-intelligent, why did it choose this screenplay?

(They laugh.)

            ● ● ●

Statler: If I wanted to see outlandish stories about the military, I'd turn on Fox News.

            ● ● ●

            After previewing "The Dukes of Hazzard":

Waldorf: Do you think people will protest this movie?

Statler: Because there's a confederate flag on top of the car?

Waldorf: No, because Jessica Simpson has a speaking part.

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Frankly, I can't believe this show is still on the air! I thought we'd be cancelled by now.

Statler: Or at least they would've replaced you with Kelly Ripa.

            ● ● ●

Statler: Since the search for the next James Bond continues, I'd like to officially offer MY services.

Waldorf: License to kill? You're lucky they give you a license to drive!

Statler: For me, a license to drive IS a license to kill!

Scena iz "Kuma"

            ● ● ●

Statler: "This show is awful!"

Waldorf: "Terrible!"

Statler: "Disgusting!"

Waldorf: "See you next week?"

Statler: "Of course."

            ● ● ●

            While previewing "The 40-Year-Old Virgin":

Waldorf: I got waxed one time. Two hours of misery...and that was just my ears!

            ● ● ●

Statler: If this movie is just like heaven, I'm glad I've been a bad person.

            ● ● ●

            While previewing "Just Like Heaven":

Waldorf: (notices Statler crying) What's wrong?

Statler: I miss… Uh… I miss…

Waldorf: Relax! Reese Witherspoon isn't really dead!

Statler: No, I miss my ten bucks!

            ● ● ●

            After previewing "Just Like Heaven":

Statler: Well, I can relate to this film. Last night, when I got home, a complete stranger was in the living room.

Waldorf: Oh, was she a ghost?

Statler: No, I went to the wrong house again.

            ● ● ●

            After watching the lost footage of Bobo's Star Wars auditions:

Waldorf: Now, I know why that footage was lost!

            ● ● ●

            After previewing "Corpse Bride":

Statler: It's nice to see someone marrying a corpse. It gives us hope.

Waldorf: Amen, brother.

            ● ● ●

Statler: Is it me or is Tim Burton sometimes weird just for the sake of being weird?

Waldorf: I think he just likes to make an artistic statement.

Statler: What statement is he making here?

Waldorf: He's weird!

            ● ● ●

Statler: I'm actually wearing a pair of those daisy dukes right now.

Waldorf: (looks down at Statler's legs and covers his eyes) Oh, I did NOT get catarack surgery to see that!

            ● ● ●

Statler: Up first, Jessica Alba and Paul Walker star in "Into the Blue".

Waldorf: They play beautiful people hunting for treasure who are being hunted by other beautiful people and, of course, the result is…

Both: Ugly!

(nastavak u broju №714 jer je u narednom specijal za Valentina)



            Jebem vas i vaš "Max TV" samoinstalacijski paket!

            Prvo i prvo, ako je nešto samo instalacijsko, onda ja trebam gladit jajca dok se ono samo ne instalira. A ja se već tjedan dana jebem sa paketom za koji mi je vaša službenica rekla da se instalira u roku od 25 minuta. Ili vaša službenica ima smisla za humor ili sa vama minute jako sporo prolaze. Očigledno je ovo drugo.

            Nakon osmog poziva vašoj tehničkoj podršci, osmi put ste zaključili da je sve instalirano prema uputama, te da je oprema neispravna i konačno mi je obećano da će mi monter doći instalirati taj "samoinstalacijski" MAX TV paket.

        Škrti ste platit čovjeka da montira opremu pomoću koje nas onda derete sa ugovornom obvezom od 24 mjeseca. E, sad se pitam ko će meni platit satnicu dok sam se zajebavao sa vašim kablovima i opremom koja je neispravna (i to prema riječima vašeg službenika).

            Znate kaj, i inače mi vas je pun qrac. Derete nas sa nenormalno visokim cijenama kako i gdje 

NM 712

stignete. Kad si složim računicu koliko platim pretplatu 70kn, teleno 200-300, internet 200, MAX TV 70, dođem do brojke od 600-700kn. I to svaki mjesec, a vezan sam ugovorom 24 mjeseca. Da mi je dostupan drugi operater otišo bi drugom, pa taman da mu više platim.

            I onda imate kampanju "znakovi pažnje". Ma, zabijte si te znakove znate kam. Da je vama stalo do ljudi onda bi nam smanjili koji račun ili platili cugu ili nekaj slično. A ne da ja moram skupljat jebene bodove da od vas dobijem šlafrok. I to ružičasti. Ma dajte odjebite!


Srdačan samoinstalacijski pozdrav

Nezadovoljni korisnik koji vas morat trpit još 24 mjeseca

(redakcija se ograničava od ovog teksta jer slika tog pisma već dugo kruži netom)



Prethodni brojArxiwaFejsbuk stranicaMarketingGlavna stranicaSledeći broj