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EN714 - Nedelja, 18. II 2018./7525.

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U ovom broju donosimo:

2. Statler and Waldorf (3/3)            Engleski jezik

            Dijalozi ona dva matorca iz "Mapeta"

4. Špigl – dvojnici poznatih

            Foto-feljton: Dvojnici poznatih

7. Ove nedelje u bioskopu "Ode on"

            Balet "Krcko Oraščić na Labudovom jezeru"

8. Azra

            Pronađite 16 XY bendova u tekstu

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(nastavak iz broja №712)

            After previewing "Into the Blue":

Waldorf: If I found Jessica Alba underwater, I'd stop looking for Nemo.

            ● ● ●

Statler: Let's have a brief moment of silence for Al Pacino's career.

            ● ● ●

            After previewing "Two for the Money":

Statler: (notices Waldorf pounding his fist on his chest) What's wrong? Was the trailer too intense for you?

Waldorf: No, I'm trying to stop my own heart so I don't have to watch any more!

Statler: Well, it's over. Now, all we have to do is just make fun of it!

            ● ● ●

Statler: "Two for the Money" dares to ask the age old question: Who lost a bet and had to make this movie?

Dosije X

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: If at first you don't succeed...

Statler: Give up.

            ● ● ●

            After previewing "Doom":

Statler: How come no one ever made "Pong" into a movie? Now, THAT was a video game.

            ● ● ●

Statler: I usually love action movies, but there's something that just doesn't look good about "Doom".

Waldorf: I know what you mean. I just can't quite put my finger on it.

Statler: Well, if you did put your finger on it, you'd need about 4 gallons of "Purel" to disinfect it!

            ● ● ●

            After previewing "Elizabethtown":

Statler: "Elizabethtown" looks like one of those emotional movies that makes you want to call your dad afterwards.

Waldorf: And tell him not to go see it!

            ● ● ●

Statler: Director Cameron Crowe always makes these lyrical, thoughtful movies.

Waldorf: There's a perfect name for the genre: Naptime.

            ● ● ●

Statler: I wouldn't say conditions at the club were bad, but when we asked where we could take a bath...

Waldorf: The manager ran us through the car wash next door.

            ● ● ●

            At the conclusion of Fozzie's monologue:

Waldorf: Why did we laugh at that terrible joke?

Statler: Well, either we've gone soft or we're in the first stages of senility.

Rasprodaja knjiga

            ● ● ●

Statler: Do you think this show is educational?

Waldorf: Yes. It'll drive people to read books.

            ● ● ●

Fozzie: I'm good enough to play the Palace!

Waldorf: You're not good enough to CLEAN the Palace!

            ● ● ●

Fozzie: A lot of these folks want to see me!

Statler: Well, so do we.

Fozzie: You want to see me perform?

Waldorf: No, retire!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Well, the show tonight certainly didn't lay an egg.

(a chicken pops up)

Chicken: BAWK!

Statler: Wanna bet?

            ● ● ●

Statler: I loved it!

Waldorf: So, what? You also loved World War II.

            ● ● ●

Statler: Up first, Antonio Banderes and Catherine Zeta-Jones star in "The Legend of Zero".

Waldorf: Don't you mean "The Legend of Zorro"?!

Statler: Nope!

            ● ● ●

Statler: People are saying that this movie really does capture what it's like to be at war.

Waldorf: Yeah! After watching it for 10 minutes, you want to shoot yourself in the foot and get sent home!

            ● ● ●

Statler: I heard Donald Rumsfeld went to go see "Jarhead".

Waldorf: Oh, yeah? What did he think?

Statler: No one knows! He's still stuck in the theater because he has no exit strategy!

            ● ● ●

Statler: I've got a riddle for you. Britney Spears had one, Katie Holmes is having one and you'll never have one. What is it?

Waldorf: That's easy. A baby.

Statler: No, a career!

            ● ● ●

Statler: First we're previewing "Get rich or die tryin'". In this movie, 50 Cent plays an inner-city drug dealer who turns to rap music in order to avoid a life of crime.

Waldorf: But the real crime here is that this movie got made!

            ● ● ●

            While previewing "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire":

Waldorf: (waving a magic wand) Enguard-em, expect-o, disappear-o...

Statler: What are you doing?

Waldorf: Trying to make this movie disappear.

Statler: Well, try harder!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: I used to have a comb-over.

Statler: Ah, yes. To be 65 again.

Waldorf: Oh, the memories.

Statler: 2 kidneys.

Waldorf: Good times.

            ● ● ●

            After previewing "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire":


Igi Pop → Kostur koji igra

TLL 714

Statler: In "The Goblet of Fire", Harry and his pals fight the most terrifying monster yet!

Waldorf: Puberty!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Statler, what are some of your favorite mythical creatures from the Harry Potter movies?

Statler: That's easy. British kids with good teeth! Actually, I like Ray Fines, who plays the evil Lord Voldemort.

Waldorf: Oh, no, no, no, no! Please don't say that name!

Statler: Oh, come on! Voldemort's name can be mentioned. It's just a story!

Waldorf: No, I was talking about Ray Fines! That guy gives me the creeps!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Tune in next time for a Thanksgiving episode where I show you how to dress a turkey.

Statler: You mean you're gonna cook?

Waldorf: No, I'm going to put you in a tuxedo!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Well, it's Thanksgiving time. So, that means that Oscar season is finally here.

Statler: It's a time when Hollywood proves that not all its movies are loud and stupid.

Waldorf: Yeah. Some are pretentous and boring.

            ● ● ●

            After previewing "In the Mix":

Statler: Luckily, Usher's fanbase doesn't care how he acts as long as he's got a 6-pack.

Waldorf: That's a lot like your fans. They don't care how you act as long as they DRINK a 6-pack.

Statler: Shows how much you know! I don't even have any fans!

            ● ● ●

            Following Stan & Louie's bit:

Waldorf: I've said it before and I'll say it again: this theater needs to be exterminated!

Statler: This whole show needs to be exterminated!

            ● ● ●


             After previewing "Rent":

Waldorf: (crying) This movie really touched me.

Statler: Yeah, me too. Right here where my 10 bucks used to be. "Rent" isn't just the title, it's how you should see it!

Waldorf: Heartless!

Statler: Ah, "Rent". Struggling New York artistic types scraping to get by.

Waldorf: I think it's a great story!

Statler: Story?! I was talking about the cast! Who are these people?!

Waldorf: It's all the original Broadway cast. The studio was trying to maintain the artistic integrity of this film!

Statler: No, I think they were trying to maintain a profit!

            ● ● ●

            After Ivan and Sweetums' bit:

Statler: Why does Hollywood treat monsters so poorly?

Waldorf: Maybe they think they're Republicans.

            ● ● ●

Statler: (notices Waldorf crying) What's the matter with you?

Waldorf: It's Nick and Jessica! They split up!

Statler: Yeah? So?

Waldorf: So, now she's gonna have more time to devote to her acting!

(They both cry.)

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: I can't wait to see "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe".

Statler: Well, I'm putting my money on the lion to win!

Waldorf: It's not a sports movie, you old fool! It's about these 4 little kids who meet and a talking lion, then they go through a magical portal into another world.

Statler: Kids and talking lions? I'll be looking for a magical portal into another theater!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf (seeing Staler's Grandson): Is he yours?

Statler: Of course not! He's my grandson! I'm just babysitting

Waldorf: There's some resemblance.

Baby: But I won't be bald and toothless forever!

Statler and Waldorf: Ho ho ho!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Watching these videos makes me worry about the future.

Statler: What future? At our age, tomorrow is a long shot.

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: That was so bad, it locked up my computer!

Statler: Quick! Let's get out of here before it finds the key!

            ● ● ●

Statler: How many hits did that thing recieve?

Waldorf: Unfortunately, not enough to kill it.

            ● ● ●

Statler: I wish I could sing like that.

Waldorf: You do?

Statler: Yeah. It would save me the cost of a car alarm!

            ● ● ●

Statler: Should we click on this "Digg" button?

Waldorf: Absolutely! Let's keep digging until this thing is buried!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: That was awful!

Statler: Well, it gets better if you wait

Waldorf: Why's that?

Statler: The screen-saver turns on.

Waldorf: That's good. I love those fish.

Alan Ford

            ● ● ●

            From "Letters to Santa":

Waldorf: This is my favorite Christmas tradition.

Statler: Listening to Christmas carolers?

Waldorf: No, heckling them.

Statler: (to the rat carolers) You should sing "Silent Night"!

Waldorf: Not the song. Just stay silent all night.

            ● ● ●

            From "The Muppet Christmas Carol":

Statler (to Scrooge): What a terrible pun. Where do you get those jokes?

Waldorf: Leave comedy to the bears, Ebenezer.

            ● ● ●

Statler: You know, Waldorf?

Waldorf: Yeah?

Statler: I think we've been wrong all these years.

Waldorf: What do you mean?

Statler: I mean the "Muppet Show" isn't half as bad as we said it was.

Waldorf: Really?

Statler: No it's twice as bad!

Both: Ho ho ho ho!

            ● ● ●

Krcko Oraščić

Waldorf: That puppet looked so alive

Statler: Well that's more than I could say for you!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: That was a great number. I don't care what you say

Statler: I thought it was dumb

Waldorf: Maybe you're right

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Maybe we should go on stage

Statler: Yes, there's one leaving in five minutes; be under it!

Waldorf: Don't heckle me you old fool heckle him!

Statler: Is that a toupee you're wearing or did your cat die?

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: You know, I don't think this show is suitable for children!

Baby (Statler's grandson): I don't think this show is suitable for ANYBODY! (Laughter)

            ● ● ●

            Midway through the Spike Milligan episode, after Spike drops his pants twice and reveals Union-Jack and Stars-and-Stripes underwear in sequence:

Waldorf: That's not funny! Anybody can drop their pants! (Drops his own pants)

Statler: I didn't know you were Lithuanian!

            ● ● ●

            "Muppets Tonight" with Martin Short:

Irving Cohen (Martin Short): Gentlemen, you know the biggest problem with the world today?

Statler: They let this show back on the air!

            ● ● ●

            At "Just for laughs comedy festival", during "Muppet gala show" opening theme:

Waldorf: Why did we travel up here?

Statler: I just don't know at all!

Waldorf: It's kind of like a torture...

Statler and Waldorf: To be in Montreal!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: We were always heckling you, Ebenezer.

Statler: It's good to be heckling again.

Waldorf: It's good to be doing anything again!

            ● ● ●

Statler: We didn't miss them, we were shooting blanks.

Waldorf: We were?

Statler: Oh Course.

            Statler smacks the machine gun and it points to the celing and celing tiles drop

Statler: Well some of them were blanks.

            ● ● ●

Fozzy (as Fozziwig): At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.

Statler: And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap.

Fozzy: My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas."

Statler: That was the speech?

Waldorf: It was dumb!

Statler: It was obvious!

Waldorf: It was pointless!

Statler: It was....... short!

(both): I loved it!

            ● ● ●

            From Season 2 with Madeline Kahn:

Statler: We got our money's worth tonight!

Waldorf: But we paid nothing.

Statler: That's what we got!

Both: Doooo-hohohohoho!!!!

            ● ● ●

Waldorf: Look! It's Ebenezer Scrooge!

Statler: Looking older and more wicked than ever!

Waldorf: I knew he wouldn't disappoint us!

            ● ● ●

Statler: Didn't watch that, made me dizzy. How about you?

Waldorf falls off the Balcony.

            ● ● ●


            From Season 3 with Liberace:

Statler: Finally we've seen them do a good show!

Waldorf: Good! Can we PLEASE stop coming now?

Both: Doooooo-hohohoho!!!!



Još se sećam Prljavog kazališta u kom sam upoznao Azru, Majke mi. Imala je torbu sa Bijelim dugmetom, a u njoj Crvena jabuka i neki Indexi. Bili smo ista Generacija 5, a govorila je da su joj Piloti Idoli. EKV nije htela pa smo otišli na Hladno pivo i Riblju čorbu, da ne bude baš samo Leb i sol. Na putu do kuće sam joj ubrao i Divlje jagode. Poslednji put sam je video u Haustoru, ali opet, nije Smak sveta.



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